Balancing Acts

 As caregivers, we have LOTS of things to balance every second of every day! I'm literally sitting here with numerous things that HAVE to be done today running through my mind. I tend to jot them down on any paper that's handy, so I won't forget them as I get swept away in caregiving duties as the day unfolds. There are caregiving tasks (that list is quite lengthy). Then we have self-care tasks (at least we must take ourselves to the bathroom occasionally - if we have time. lol). It's the end of the month and a new one is just around the clock's corner - so there are bills to figure. Should I go on with other tasks that seem menial on the surface? (cooking, cleaning, laundry, pureeing foods, sorting supplies, etc.) We really do balance a lot.

This morning, while I was doing the FaceBook Live video "Peace Out," I realized we have to rely and wait on God for a lot of things. I don't know about you, but my prayer list can get rather lengthy. We need Him, first off. But we all have different areas that we need Him to move in as well. I'll share the video below, but we know He gives us strength when we wait on Him, right? (Isaiah 40:31) But then I realized there are a lot of things we don't have to wait on, too.

We don't have to wait on His peace - He gave it to us free and clear. We just have to figure out how to let it reign! We don't have to wait on Him to love us - He can't help Himself, He just loves us, period. 

We don't have to wait on grace. God told Paul in 2 Corinthians 12:9 that His grace was enough. Paul had been praying about things that had been weighing him down and that was God's answer. I'm pretty sure that verse didn't come with an expiration date!

We don't have to wait on His mercy either. Lamentations 3:22-23 reminds us that His mercies are new (for us) every morning. God doesn't have a "morning" so that's a special endowment or installment that He purposefully makes for our new mornings. He's got us covered!! 

Today, while I am waiting for answers in some specific areas, and for some specific needs - I'll remind myself that there is no waiting for peace, grace, mercy, or His love. Those are all free, clear, and available to us right now. I'll remind myself to give Him my concerns, worries, and anxieties - and then my thoughts will be on His ever-reigning peace. His all-sufficient grace, and His newly refreshed mercies. And then, I can trust Him for one more day. Will you join me?

Not Lost

The caregiving journey can often feel like a crazy ride that never ends. Just about the time you get used to being up - the downhill comes. You enjoy feelings of lightlessness and maybe even throw your hands up and enjoy the fastest part of the ride. Then there's a curve. And another curve, before starting another slow creep to the top. And the cycle continues. Day after day. Week after week. Year after year. It can be a wild ride with unexpected drops, turns, and bumps. But we are certainly not lost, even though it can feel like it sometimes.

While it is true that we never know what kind of twists and turns a day may take, we can be sure God is in the mix. In Psalm 31:14-15a (my favorite psalm!!), David said, but I am trusting you, O Lord, saying, "You are my God!" My future is in your hands. (NLT) Isn't that what each caregiving day comes down to? Just trusting Him with our pasts, our right nows, and our future. They can all be pretty foggy at times.

There are days when we can't easily navigate what's right in front of us, but we are not lost. We are still in His hands. He will not bail on us because the journey got too difficult, too rocky, too confusing, or too emotional. We are not lost. God knows right where we are - Psalm 139 reminds us that He is intimately acquainted with all our ways. He's up close and personal when the rest of the world walks away. 

The best part to me is that He doesn't throw us away, no matter what! People may stick around unless we get emotional. What's not to get emotional about? Why is that not allowed? We are dealing with some level of constant loss. We are providing care and making decisions for another whole person. It can get heavy. People don't get it. They just want us to go back to "normal." But we are not lost - God is right smack dab in the middle of our new normal. He's equipping us. He's giving us grace and dishing up new mercies for us every morning. He's got us right here in the middle of the battle - we are not lost, and we won't ever be lost to Him.

Today, I'll remind myself that God is in my now - no matter what that looks like. He won't pack up and leave if it's the best caregiving day ever, or if it all falls apart around me. I love that about Him. He is truly present, isn't that all we need from Him, and from others, too? When I feel lost today, I'll turn my thoughts to His ever-abiding presence and remind myself that He literally can't go anywhere - since He is already everywhere! No matter what twists and turns this day brings - He's already in my future, He didn't dump me because of my past! Since He is in my right here, right now - I will trust Him for one more day. Will you join me?

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Check out 31 Days in Psalm 31! 

If anyone knows what it's like to spend 31 days in the cave with God - it's the caregiver! :-) My 31-day devotional is taken from Psalm 31 when David was in the cave hiding from Saul. You can get a print or kindle copy from my Amazon Bookshelf, or you can order the ebook from the Dove's Fire Ministries Bookstore. 

Back of the Cave

 It's no secret that caregiving is as much an emotional journey as anything else. It's easy to live on the proverbial edge when you never know how or when things are going to change on a dime. Your loved one may spike a sudden unexplained fever. They may get a sore or fall. Maybe they just have an unusually rough day. Any number of things can happen at any given time. These can weigh on the soul and have us running for the back of the cave.

People may not get it at all, especially if they haven't experienced caregiving. Sometimes, it seems they just want us to return to normal, but that is not going to happen. We end up with new normals, new experiences, and new friends (hopefully), but normal isn't even discernable anymore. Social isolation is just one emotional problem we have to navigate. There's not much help for it either, which is why it's easy to become comfortable in the back of the cave. Hey, at least it's safe there, right?

It's no wonder that God promised to remain the keeper of our souls. While we know He is our provider, He didn't say He was the keeper of our finances. He didn't say He was the keeper of our bodies, even though we are fully aware He can heal. He is the keeper of our souls. It's the part of us that won't die, the part that makes us uniquely us. Our mind, will, and emotions are woven intricately into our souls. God is that deeply acquainted with us - that He recognizes and keeps our souls.

God is aware when we feel alone. He knows we are really alone, too.

He knows when we are restless while waiting on an answer.

God understands the intricacies of caregiving and how it affects our souls, our minds, and our bodies.

Sometimes, He just sits with us in the back of the cave. He's silent. But He's there.

Today, I feel like I'm hidden in the back of the cave, but I will remind myself that I can't go far enough back that He can't find me and be with me. The caregiver's cave isn't too deep, too dark, too dank, or too anything for Him. I'll picture just me and God sitting there. Comfort and peace ooze out of Him toward my soul, but it's up to me to choose to let that peace reign and let the comfort ease the discomfort in my soul. Here we sit - with me trusting Him for one more day. Will you join me?

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Book of the Week!

Gifts of the Spirit Bible Study Guide

• ·         Did you know that God gave the body specific gifts for specific reasons?

  ·         Does each gift have a purpose?

  ·     Want to learn more about the gifts gave us so we could grow in Him?

  ·         Who gets these gifts and how are they used?

• Are the gifts applicable in today’s church environment

• Gifts of the Holy Spirit Study Guide touches on all of these and more!!

Grab an eBook or Kindle version of this study guide and take a dive into the gifts of the Spirit. We’ll walk through 1 Corinthians 12 and other NT passages that provide more insight to the “tools” God has given the church. We’ll also link back to the OT and see what the gifts look like in raw operation.

Currently, but subject to change soon – this study guide is available in eBook or Kindle formats only. Grab the eBook, print it out, open your Bible, and learn the basics of the Gifts Holy Spirit gave us! 

eBook: Dove's Fire Ministries Bookstore 

Kindle or Print: Amazon Bookshelf

Fingerprints on the Soul

 

As I was typing the closing to yesterday's devotion, I penned a phrase about how God leaves fingerprints on our souls. It literally went across my screen and grabbed my attention. I'd not thought of it before, but it became my meditation throughout the whole day yesterday. I began to go through several stories in the Bible where people were changed through an encounter with God - even though their situations didn't change.

I started with Hannah. In I Samuel, she was grieving over not being able to have children. She poured out her broken heart before God. It must have been a heart-wrenching scene, because Eli, the high priest at the time, thought she was drunk. She explained to him that she wasn't drunk, but that her heart was broken and she needed God to answer. 

Now get this. God did not answer immediately. Later, once they returned home to their routine, Hannah would become pregnant as she had requested that day. But in that moment, nothing changed. There was absolutely no sign God had answered. But her countenance changed and was no longer sad. (v. 18) God had touched her soul, even though she didn't yet have her answer.

I also thought about Hagar. In Genesis 16, Sarai and Hagar were at odds. Two women in one house - imagine that. Lol. Hagar was not totally innocent in the situation. The problems between the two of them elevated to the point that Hagar left. Remember, she's pregnant on top of all of the things going on. God found Hagar. Not only did nothing change, but God told her to go back. She was given a word for the baby she was carrying in her womb. Even though nothing changed, God had left His fingerprints on her soul. It made all the difference in the world.

As caregivers, our circumstances don't change. But there are those times when God touches our souls and peace reigns again. There are times when we become content in knowing that He is walking with us on the challenging journey of caring for another person. Just to know He hears us. To know He sees us. And to know that He chooses to walk with us makes a huge difference in our lives.

Today, I will be thankful that God is still walking with me on this caregiving journey. I'll remind myself that He is not going to pack up and leave today, or any day. I know He is touching my soul with His peace, His love, His mercy, and His grace. And I know He's leaving His fingerprints on my soul. I can trust Him for one more day. Will you join me?

Note: Thank you to those who leave comments on the blogs. I respond to every single one!! You may need to go back and look at the blog you left a comment on, when you do, you'll see my response! Thanks for reading.

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Book of the Week!

Gifts of the Spirit Bible Study Guide

• ·         Did you know that God gave the body specific gifts for specific reasons?

  ·         Does each gift have a purpose?

  ·     Want to learn more about the gifts gave us so we could grow in Him?

  ·         Who gets these gifts and how are they used?

• Are the gifts applicable in today’s church environment

• Gifts of the Holy Spirit Study Guide touches on all of these and more!!

Grab an eBook or Kindle version of this study guide and take a dive into the gifts of the Spirit. We’ll walk through 1 Corinthians 12 and other NT passages that provide more insight to the “tools” God has given the church. We’ll also link back to the OT and see what the gifts look like in raw operation.

Currently, but subject to change soon – this study guide is available in eBook or Kindle formats only. Grab the eBook, print it out, open your Bible, and learn the basics of the Gifts Holy Spirit gave us! 

eBook: Dove's Fire Ministries Bookstore 

Kindle or Print: Amazon Bookshelf

It's Just Everything

 Caregiving is a wild ride, no matter how you slice it. We could probably make a Top 10 list of all the "things" that wear on us, and each of our lists would be different. Our personal lists would probably change from day to day. Or hour to hour. Lol. 

What's on your top 10? I think number 1 for me would be the emotional part, the living grief. And maybe number 2 would be the financial struggles - which are complicated by number 1. But ask later, and I may have a totally different jumping-off spot. This fictional list is created by the day-to-days of caregiving. The items change with the ebb and flow of caregiving and they are based on our emotional state, our mental state, and tons of other things that may be happening at the time. It's not just one thing, or even two or three things about caregiving that wear on our souls, it's just everything. 

Here's the good thing, God doesn't have a limit on the number of things we bring to Him. Nothing is off limits to His grace. Philippians 4:6 reminds us to be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and thanksgiving to bring our requests to God. 1 Peter 5:7 weighs in with an "all" too. Peter tells us to cast all your care on Him. All and everything - are equal. We can bring it all to Him and hand Him everything in our hearts. God won't be overwhelmed. He'll simply provide the grace to make it through the day.

What makes us hold back when it comes to bringing everything to God? Do we think God will reject us because we're a mess? Lol. He already knows that! In Psalm 139, David lays out all the ways God knows us. He sees us. He watches us. He thinks about us. That's a wow in itself. But in verse 23, David invites God to know his heart and his anxieties. That's just a different way of "giving everything" to Him, isn't it? Inviting God to walk deep into your heart and see what all is really there - it's the ultimate trust level. And God is willing. He won't cast us aside, throw us away, laugh, or cry. He'll just provide peace and grace to make it one more day.

Today, I'll remind myself that it's okay to invite God into my everything. He won't get lost or overwhelmed while He's walking around in this crazy brain and broken heart. He'll just leave traces of Himself like fingerprints on the soul - everywhere we allow Him to go. Peace will be there too, true soul peace even in the middle of the storm. I will invite Him on a walk-through today as I trust Him for one more day. Will you join me?

_________________________________________

Book of the Week!

Gifts of the Spirit Bible Study Guide

• ·         Did you know that God gave the body specific gifts for specific reasons?

  ·         Does each gift have a purpose?

  ·     Want to learn more about the gifts gave us so we could grow in Him?

  ·         Who gets these gifts and how are they used?

• Are the gifts applicable in today’s church environment

• Gifts of the Holy Spirit Study Guide touches on all of these and more!!

Grab an eBook or Kindle version of this study guide and take a dive into the gifts of the Spirit. We’ll walk through 1 Corinthians 12 and other NT passages that provide more insight to the “tools” God has given the church. We’ll also link back to the OT and see what the gifts look like in raw operation.

Currently, but subject to change soon – this study guide is available in eBook or Kindle formats only. Grab the eBook, print it out, open your Bible, and learn the basics of the Gifts Holy Spirit gave us! 

eBook: Dove's Fire Ministries Bookstore 

Kindle or Print: Amazon Bookshelf

.

Those Fickle Emotions!

 It's no secret that I love David and I love the Psalms. One of the "best" things I learned from the Psalms was that it's okay to tell God anything, everything! David didn't hold back. He talked about being angry with God, upset with his circumstances, and many other heart-wrenching emotions. Whatever David was working through at the time was what reached God's ears. 

God never told David, "You shouldn't say things like that." He did reprimand David for being honest about his feelings and emotions. 

This morning, I found an instance in 1 Chronicles 13 and 14 that describes one of these instances. In chapter 13, David is doing what he thought was an honorable thing and bringing the Ark of God back to where it belonged. What David failed to do was make sure that the Ark was transported according to how God had told them to do it long ago. It was NEVER supposed to be pulled by oxen - only carried by Levites. 

The oxen stumbled and Uzzah reached out to stead the Ark so it wouldn't fall. That was another "honorable" thing. But it cost Uzzah his life and that made David angry. They basically set the Ark down and walked away. 

But then in chapter 14, the Philistines are attacking and David goes right back to prayer. He asks God if he should go fight or not. God answered and told David to go - he was being given the victory. Two things stood out to me in this story. First, David was quick to run right back to God, even though he had just been mad at Him. Second, God didn't say anything snarky. He didn't say, "Oh, now you wanna talk to me?" Lol. God just answered.

As caregivers, our emotions can be all over the place. We can be working through living grief and loss one second and rejoicing in the smallest victory the next. Our emotions are certainly fickle! But God gets that. He won't prevent us from coming to prayer to Him this morning just because of what we said last night. Whew! That's a good thing because I can get a little cray-cray sometimes!! I love that God gets us and still keeps the door to His heart wide open for us to enter any time.

Today, I'll remind myself of some of those times I was angry with God - or my circumstances. I'll also remind myself how God has never left me standing outside alone. He always welcomes, nourishes, and cares for my soul - even when I've acted a mess. I'll be thankful that He chooses to walk with me on this journey even when I get upset and act up. He never abandons. He's not afraid of my emotions. He just welcomes me every time I decide to come to Him. He continues to carry this messy soul of mine - so I think I can trust Him for one more day. Will you join me?

_________________________________________

Book of the Week!

21 Days

• ·         Are you a new Christian and you’re not sure how to build the habit of Bible reading?

  ·         Have you been looking for some encouragement to read your Bible?

  ·         What if it was actually very easy to read 5 minutes a day?

  ·         Do you need some practical and applicable ideas for developing Bible reading habits?

• Do you want to encourage a new believer in their Christian walk?

Grab a copy of 21 Days! I initially wrote it for the youth group I was pastoring to encourage them to develop the habit of reading their Bible every day.  A scripture is provided for each day, along with a thought or two about it. Then, there are more scriptures to read if there is time. The whole point is to make it easy to incorporate Bible reading into your daily schedule. It can be done in 5 minutes, or you can take up to 30 if you have the time. The point is just READ!

In the back of the book is a helpful list of actions you can take to help you incorporate Bible reading into your daily schedule. Use it over and over again, or gift it to someone who wants to learn how easy and rewarding it is to read the Bible every day. 

eBook: Dove's Fire Ministries Bookstore 

Kindle or Print: Amazon Bookshelf

The Fight For Sanity

 Caregiving has a way of wearing on you. It's sometimes physical, but a lot of times it's the emotional side that gets to us. When I realized that I was dealing with what is called, "living grief" I allowed myself to grieve. We can lose a lot when we become caregivers, including who our loved ones were and our lifestyles. I had to come to grips with the fact that I lost my son in that wreck in November of 2008. Yet he didn't die. He's still here, but the son I knew is long gone. No matter how our caregiving is packaged - there's a lot to deal with.

This morning as I was reading 1 Chronicles 11 I came across the story of Benaiah again. There are literally three verses about him in the entire Bible. He was one of David's Mighty Men and a great warrior. In verse 22, it says that Benaiah chased a lion into a pit. Why would anyone do that to start with? But then it says that even though it was snowy and slippery in the pit - he killed the lion. Smh. 

Let me be clear. I do not want to chase a lion. I do not want to kill a lion. As a caregiver, I have enough coming at me to keep me busy and I'm not adding one more thing to the list! Lol. 

What I do want is to have this type of tenacity. Benaiah wasn't having anything that lion was serving up. I want to fight off the emotional vacuum that tries to suck me in with the same tenacity. I hope that I have Benaiah's attitude toward the lion - but about life. I'm not going down without a fight! I'll do all I can with what I have to keep my head above water and my heart latched to faith. It probably looks a lot more like treading water than chasing lions though, I'm just sayin'. But I don't care.

If I have to write one scripture down and read it 100 times a day for everyday for the rest of my life. Fine. If I have to bury my head in my pillow and scream my prayers. Fine. If I need to step outside and take a deep breath of fresh air to remind myself that I am still alive. So be it. But I refuse to let life's battle steal my faith, my hope in God, and my confidence that He is carrying me as needed.

Today, I'll remind myself that I'm not in this fight for my soul alone. We have each other, first off. But God has all of us. He carries our hearts, our emotions, and all those crazy thoughts we have each day. I'll remind myself that I don't have to fight the lion alone. God chooses to crawl into any pit I find myself in and be there with me. I love that about Him! I'll meditate on how He longs just to be close to us - and caregiving just made Him want to draw closer. I can rest in that truth as I trust Him just for today. Will you join me?

_________________________________________

Book of the Week!

21 Days

• ·         Are you a new Christian and you’re not sure how to build the habit of Bible reading?

  ·         Have you been looking for some encouragement to read your Bible?

  ·         What if it was actually very easy to read 5 minutes a day?

  ·         Do you need some practical and applicable ideas for developing Bible reading habits?

• Do you want to encourage a new believer in their Christian walk?

Grab a copy of 21 Days! I initially wrote it for the youth group I was pastoring to encourage them to develop the habit of reading their Bible every day.  A scripture is provided for each day, along with a thought or two about it. Then, there are more scriptures to read if there is time. The whole point is to make it easy to incorporate Bible reading into your daily schedule. It can be done in 5 minutes, or you can take up to 30 if you have the time. The point is just READ!

In the back of the book is a helpful list of actions you can take to help you incorporate Bible reading into your daily schedule. Use it over and over again, or gift it to someone who wants to learn how easy and rewarding it is to read the Bible every day. 

eBook: Dove's Fire Ministries Bookstore 

Kindle or Print: Amazon Bookshelf