Tuesday, February 21, 2017

Some Things Never Change

There's an old country song I thought of this morning. It goes something like some days are diamonds, some days are stones some days the bad times won't leave me alone. Ever have one of those days? Ever have a series of those days?

It's funny (odd - not haha) that one day I can be so depressed and down and the next wake up ready to take on the world once again. It may be the fact that as caregivers there's not really any other choice so we suck it up and keep moving forward.

I've often wondered if I was spiritually schizophrenic since I can have it all together one second and totally lose it the next. (I'm sure I'm the only one who has EVER felt this way!) One second I'm totally resting and trusting in Him - and the next I'm so angry with God and have tons of questions I'm hurling at Him. God is so patient with me. He really is big enough to carry us - to carry me along with all my baggage. My stuff will never be bigger than Him - even if it seems to be in my own eyes.

Isn't it far too easy to get distracted though? We don't even have to try. Our list of daily duties is so long it embarrasses others who claim to be "busy."  You know it's true! Just taking care of another whole person is a full-time job. We typically do double of everything, especially when there are specific special needs.

On top of caregiving, many have jobs and other responsibilities, it can be quite overwhelming. Since we juggle so many things it makes sense that it can all crash in on us with the slightest misstep. Because we are fearless caregivers - we can reshuffle, pick up the mess and find a way to carry on....at least most days. Other days (I can only speak for myself) it comes crashing in around me and I just sit and stare. Eventually, I'll figure it out, brush myself off, roll up my sleeves and get going again.

In the hecticism of caregiving I can get lost in the shuffle. I lose my focus and forget....a lot of things. But this morning as I got up early to read my Bible I was reminded of a couple of things. Somehow, I ended up in Exodus 34:14. The NLT I have says this: He is a God who is passionate about His relationship with you. I thought about that for awhile because I can be blinded by caregiving and forget the basics.

Caregiving can be big and looming. It can be blinding and numbing. It's so daily. It never lets up. But this morning I'm reminded of a simple truth. He really does love us - and our situations do not change that unending love. His mercy is forever. I'm reminded of a scripture in particular:

Your unfailing love is higher than the heavens.
Your faithfulness reaches to the clouds.

As quirky as we can be, He never gives up on us. He is always reaching for us and extending His love and mercy toward us. He really is faithful even when we are not.

Today I am going to try to stay focused on His faithfulness rather than my unfaithfulness. I will direct my thoughts to His love and meditate on His endless mercies toward me. I'm not sure how He continues to love me in my craziness, but I'll think about how patient He is with me. And I'll be thankful that He never gives up! And with that I will trust Him for one more day. Will you join me?

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