Tidying Up the Cave

 

Do you ever just feel alone? Social isolation is real for caregivers. Now that we are mostly post-pandemic and things are going back to something like normal, it reminds us that our lives are anything but normal. I've started taking Chris out more - mostly for stimulation. He acts differently when we are out - I think he's bored with our little 2-bedroom apartment. Lol. And while getting out is so good for both of us, pushing his chair around social settings and outings just serves to remind me how different we are.

Most people have no idea what caregivers deal with on a daily basis. But what's worse is they don't want to get close enough to know. And having no one close is what seems to eat away at us many times. Now, I hope you have plenty of friends and family who are close and keep in touch with you. But sadly, too many caregivers feel stuck alone in their caves. That's where I have been this week. It's okay - I just have to adjust a little, so I don't get swept away in that emotional tide. So, I'm tidying up my cave.

Self-reflection and evaluation are good for us generally. So, I'm taking a look around my own cave to see what I want to keep and what doesn't belong. In the alone times, when we feel like we are tucked away in a cave from the norms of life, we'll find that He is there too. I love that God meets us where we are. 

Think about that a bit. He met Adam and Eve in the garden, even after they sinned. He met Abraham at his tent. God "found" Hagar not once but twice. He came to Moses on the back side of the wilderness and spoke to him from a burning bush. And get this - Moses had been out there for 40 years! Alone. But God came. So, while I am tidying up my cave and adjusting once again, I can trust that He will find me too. 

Whether I feel like my life is being lived by a beautiful stream of living water, or I feel like I'm just trying to survive on the back side of the wilderness, He knows. And He'll come anyway. No wilderness is too barren. No cave is too dark or deep. He can find us - and better yet - He can reach us.

Today, I'll remind myself that God is even present with me in my caregiver's cave. He has time to listen when human ears don't. He understands. He gets us. And He still whispers, My grace is enough. So, I'll trust His grace to carry me through one more day. Will you join me?

                                                                                                                                           

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In His Hands

 There's a song we used to sing as a child, He's Got the Whole World in His Hands. Remember singing that song and doing hand motions with it when we were little? This little song came to mind this morning as I was reading my Bible. I continued reading in Isaiah for my personal devotions. I love how we can read even familiar passages and find new nuggets He's hidden for us there, don't you?

I read over through chapter 49 and this phrase in verse 16 stood out. It says, See, I have written your name on my hand. God was reminding Israel that He had not forgotten them even though bad things were happening all around them. He was telling them that a mother can't forget her nursing child. Those of you who are mothers understand the discomfort of skipping a feeding - you ain't gonna forget that child! But God goes on to say - but if that were possible, I would not forget you! (NLT) 

What a great reminder that no matter how good or bad life gets, how difficult the day-to-days of caregiving may become, God will not forget us. He has our names written (tattooed) on His hand. But wait, there's more!

I continued reading over the next few chapters until I got to verse 16 of chapter 51. Verses 15 and 16 say this: For I am the Lord your God, who stirs up the sea, causing its waves to roar. My name is the Lord Almighty. and I have put My words in your mouth and hidden you safely within My hand. (NLT)

I was like, whoa! Twice in these couple of pages, God has referred to holding His children in His hand. I know I'm one of His children. And I know that many (most) of you who read this blog are His children too! We are in His hand. 

The chorus comes back to mind - He's got the whole world in His hand - including caregivers, our loved ones, our families, and friends. I saw no exclusionary statements pertaining to caregivers. So it's true for us as well.

Today, no matter how good or bad it may seem or feel - I'll remind myself that Chris and I are both in His hands. My heart will be contently resting in His hand as I allow Him to carry me through this day. I will trust that no matter what this day may bring, nothing will be able to remove me from the grip of His grace. So will you join me as we rest in His hand together today?

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It's All the Same to Me

 

My thoughts were scattered this morning during my devotions until I finally settled into reading a few more chapters in Isaiah. It wasn't a bad thing, really. I was trying to prepare for my devotions for Facebook live - and had too many to choose from. lol. That's one of the most amazing things about God and His word. No matter what I am dealing with or going through, He has me covered.

His Word renews my mind (the reason it's so important to read it!), He has my heart in His, and He keeps my soul. (Psalm 121:7) He really is our All in All. He's got us covered from one end to the other and throughout all eternity. Think about it a bit. He knew man would fall. So He planned a way for us to get back to Him before He said, Let there be light. He made sure we would never be at a spot in time where we would be separated from Him. 

Even now He has everything under control even when we feel out of control. Just His armor alone has us covered. (Pun intended.) Of course, it's up to us to put it on. But when we put it on and purposefully keep it on then we can stand against all the wiles of the enemy. Every fiery dart he throws at our soul can be quenched and destroyed by the armor. 

The cool thing is that the armor is the same for everybody. There's no special armor for the caregiver or the pastor, for the teacher or the homeless, for the rich or the poor. The armor is available for all believers. There are no exclusionary statements attached. It doesn't say - Christians, put this on - unless you are a caregiver - then you are out of luck. His grace doesn't run out when we become caregivers. It actually abounds more. Society likes to condemn, discard, and ignore those who don't fit the status quo. And so does the worldly church in general. 

But let's take a look at God's heart for us. I think I found it in Isaiah 10 when I was reading this morning. It may seem disconnected but bear with me. It says:

Woe to those who decree unrighteous decrees

who write misfortune, which they have prescribed

to rob the needy of justice

and to take what is right from the poor of My people

that widows may be their prey and that they can rob the fatherless.

As I read over these two or three times this morning, I heard God's heart in it. God doesn't like injustice. He doesn't like robbery in any form. His heart is for the needy (and boy do I need Him!) and the poor. He reaches out to those who are looked down on and discarded by society and the religious system. When Jesus walked among men on the earth, He always went for the sheep who were cut off, those no one else wanted. Zacchaeus the tax collector. Mary Magdeline the woman that Jesus cast seven demons out of - she became a great evangelist. He always had time for the downcast and weary.

God's heart toward caregivers is one of compassion, grace, and mercy. He defends us. He loves us no more - and no less than others. We are part of His team and His hand is always reaching out toward us longing to draw us into His heart.

Today, I will be thankful that He reaches a little further down into life's trenches to grab me. My thoughts will be on how His heart is chasing after those the world tends to discard. I will be thankful that He walks into life's ugliest pictures and paints grace. I'll rest in that thought today as I trust Him for just one more day. Will you join me?

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In With the New

 

Happy New Year to everyone who reads and keeps up with this devotional. I pray this year is one of immense blessings, peace, and restoration. I seriously only want to look back on 2020. It's been quite the year for everyone. I have to say that I have learned a lot, grown some, and changed a lot over the last 12 months. But you know that nothing actually changed from 11:59:59 on December 31, 2020, to 12:00:00 am on January 1, 2021. Right?

We are still in the midst of a pandemic. The political climate is chaotic at best. And most of the world seems to have gone stark raving mad. lol. Nothing is really too new except the date today. lol. Thinking about all of this led me to think about the things about God that don't change with the date. You know? He doesn't have a timer that goes off on New Year's Day. Which New Year's Day would He choose? The Jewish calendar is different from ours. The Chinese New Year won't happen for a few more days. There isn't a "New Years Day" in heaven. It's just Day because He is the light. 

But - it is a new day for us and God chose to accommodate. Jeremiah tells us that His mercies are new every morning. (Lamentations 3:23) It's not a morning for HIM - so He orchestrated that just for us. Each of our new mornings we are met with His mercies to carry us through. Isaiah prophesied Behold I will do a new thing, now it shall spring forth. So, there seems that there was an appointed time -  or a specific point in time that God caused roads in the wilderness and rivers in the desert. (Isaiah 43:19) 

God is not governed by the timeframe of earth. But He does have certain spots in time that He places things. Jesus came at the appointed time. So even though God does not change with time or in response to time - He can make all things new. Matter of fact, He said that we are a new creation in Christ. (2 Corinthians 5:17)

So on a day when we can hope all things are new - while we are still trying to shed the baggage of the old year - God remains. He is faithful, merciful, and full of love and grace toward us as we move into a new year in our time scale.

Today,  I will remind myself that it was God who carried me (us) through 2020 and He is not jumping ship now! My meditations will be on how He has been faithful and He will continue to be faithful. I'll set my mind on the consistency of God and let that carry me through the hectic days that lie ahead. I will rest in Him and trust Him for this first day of 2021. Will you join me?

What about Jakob?

I've read and reread the story of Joseph, and growing up in church it was one of the common Bible stories that we heard over and over. On one hand I think the caregiver can learn from Joseph's patience. He had a dream that seemed could never come true. Life betrayed him. I know the scriptures don't go into Joseph's thoughts but he had to have some serious dedication to God to not lose it during those waiting years.

I think of the betrayal by his brothers. Then the betrayal by Potiphar's wife. Not only did his brothers put him in a pit until they could sell him to the next passerby, Potiphar has him thrown into prison for something he didn't do. He spent a lot of time waiting, wondering, and trying to figure things out I would assume.

While our stories usually focus on Joseph and his determination to serve God through his trials, this weekend as I was rereading the story once again, I thought about Jakob.

In Genesis 37, it says that Jakob wept for Joseph and goes on to say he refused to be comforted. His other children all tried to console him, but his reply was I will go to my grave mourning for my son. He had no idea that Joseph was going to be his leader some day and he had no reason to believe that Joseph was alive - no hope that everything would be okay one day. He lived in grief.

The caregiver can experience what is called a living grief. Depending on the particulars of our situation, we can lose a lot. For my situation, my son is gone, but his body is still here. I have grieved the loss of my son but can't quite "put it away" since there was no funeral or burial. The grief continues. It's the same with my mom. She's experiencing dementia and is not really who she used to be. I have to grieve the loss, even though she's still technically here. 

Many caregivers experience this living grief and it can be some very complex emotions to work through.You can't just "move on" but there's still a sense of loss. Caregivers have given up something on some level no matter what their situation. Some give up jobs, freedom, friends, and many other aspects of life to care for a loved one.

1 Corinthians 1:3 says that God is the God of all comfort.  I really like this little word, all. God can comfort Joseph sitting in the prison cell wondering where the promise is; and God can comfort Jakob who feels like the promise was stolen and is gone forever. God can feel us. He gets us. And He will comfort and strengthen our hearts.

Today I will turn my thoughts to the fact that He gets me. He understands everything I am going through and He pours His strength into me - and gives me strength for today's journey. (everyday is a journey for caregivers) My meditations will be on the truth that He loves me with the same love I have for my son. (Insert whoever you are a caregiver for.) And instead of focusing on the loss today - I'll focus on His provision, His love, His strength, His patience with me and the grace He gives me to make it one more day. Will you join me?