The Power of Determination

Over the weekend, I spent most of my study time reading in Daniel. For this week, he's my favorite Bible character, and I continue to learn from reading about his faith in the midst of his life's trial. Like caregivers, his trial didn't miraculously go away one day; it was a lifelong journey. Actually, the 12 chapters this book contains cover a lifetime of over 70 years. Sometimes we tend to read through it in a matter of a few minutes without realizing the time element.

70 years he was in captivity. He lost his family, his country and his life to become the servant of a king. While there is the good side of things - we can't minimize the losses he went through. He was young when he was carried away to Babylon but we see him develop into a man of God in the midst of extreme circumstances.

I literally lived in the ICU waiting room for 3 weeks before my son was moved to the floor of the hospital and during that time I prayed that whatever the outcome would be - I wouldn't become bitter. There had been many instances where I'd seen individuals go through tough times to come out bitter and angry in the end. And about 18 months later when I was able to re-establish a home and bring my son home finally - I prayed again that I would not become bitter but that I would be like many saints who let harsh circumstances develop and deepen their faith.

I don't know if I've accomplished that goal - but I see it in Daniel. In chapter one, it says he was determined not to eat the king's food. He did not want to violate his convictions - and he knew he could die. The king could kill him for his request; or he could starve to death! He could have been kicked out of the palace and placed with those who were not "chosen" by the king to serve. He risked a lot by making his unusual request.

And then years later we see a matured Daniel being told he could not pray to anyone but the king. And in chapter 6 verse 10 tells us this: when Daniel learned the law had been signed (that there was to be no prayer to anyone or any god but the king) he went home and knelt down as usual....and prayed! I love that!

I want to have the determination we see in Daniel. It was like nothing on the outside mattered, he was determined to serve God no matter what. The scriptures make no mention of him being bitter or angry at God for all that befell him. And in our "new world" thinking - he had every right to be. As caregivers the world gives us that right too. And I will admit - I've been angry at God, He and I have discussed it many times - and we don't have any details on what Daniel was thinking - perhaps he and God had discussed it too.

My prayer today is that over the years of this caregiving journey I end up like Daniel - with my face in His. I love the way Daniel took the king's decree in stride and once again followed his heart and conviction rather than just blindly doing whatever the king said. He wasn't obstinate, rebellious, or hateful. He just turned and went to his prayer spot just like before - as if the decree had never been made.

Today I will be thinking about Daniel and how determined he was to serve God in spite of his circumstances. My meditations will be on how I can work on relationship with God instead of being angry that He let bad things happen in my life. I will think about how He walks through it with me and never leaves me on my own. And for me, I'll even think about how patient He has been, and continues to be as I work through my issues. Today, I will embrace His grace and His presence and focus on Him instead of my circumstance. Will you join me?

Who Sees Me?

I've been thinking about Hagar all day today; there's something stuck in my mind about the situation she found herself in. Genesis 16 tells us about how Sarah gave Hagar, her maid to Abram to bring forth a child. But when Hagar found out that she was indeed with child, she treated Sarah with "contempt" and found herself looking for a place to live! There are many details to this story - just like each one of us has our own unique details about how we ended up in the wilderness of life trying to survive. For Hagar, she made some obvious mistakes - for many of us who live in the furnace it was not mistakes that ended us up in the furnace. The furnace is hot no matter how we ended up there!

Verse 11 may be the verse that sticks out to some of us as it says: for the Lord has heard about your misery. I suppose that it can be a good thing for the Lord to be aware of what is going on in our lives. But what stood out to me today is in verse 14: the God who sees me.There just seems to be something a little more personal about Him seeing me than just hearing about  me. It means He is attentive and watching; it's more active and not so much passive. He sees me.

No matter how hot the furnace, how difficult the struggle gets, or how long or dark the night...He sees me. For some reason today I just feel like I need God to see me; to walk with me and hold me. It is comforting to know that He does not look away just because the picture gets ugly.

It is interesting to me that Hagar called the place, "well of the living One who sees me;" and God called the name of her child Ishmael which means, "God hears." Today I will meditate on the truth that God is first the living God; and secondly on the truth that He does indeed see and hear my heart. As furnace walkers, let us take comfort in these truths today. 

Where do you put it?

Some days it seems we can have it all together. Everything is going along good, emotions are intact, and the day overall just isn't bad. And then outta nowhere....someone says something about faith that makes it sound like you don't have any since you are in adverse circumstances. Is it just me, or does it happen to you too? I'm beginning to think that faith is a little like courage; if there isn't some challenge to address it doesn't really count.  

When the statement occurred I was flooded with questions and hopelessness tried to swallow me up. Because if it all relies on me - what I believe - what I say - what I can change with my attitude - then what is my faith in: myself. True faith believes period. The fact that we are still clinging on to Him even when everything around us does not seem to make any sense at all, or doesn't seem to be changing at all is the deepest faith - not the lack of faith. I must say that I do not have any confidence in myself - I cannot change my circumstances. I can only change my attitude in them.

Joseph could have confessed and recited his dreams all he wanted in that unjust prison cell...but until it was God's time...nothing was going to happen. What Joseph did have to guard was his heart. He had to keep his heart and trust in God in the midst of the circumstance. Job could have quoted every healing scripture there was...but until it was God's time...nothing changed. Abraham could not make Isaac (the promise) arrive any sooner - he tried, remember? He ended up with an Ishmael.

These are some of our faith heroes...faith did not change their circumstances nor was it measured by them! Do no measure your faith by your circumstances!!! Are you still clinging to Him? Do you still trust Him? Are you still waiting on Him? ...that's faith.

But As For Me...

Psalm 59 was written during a very troubling time for David. I admire his writings because David was so open and honest with his emotions and his feelings. He didn't hesitate to say what he really felt. And in general, you never have to ask yourself, I wonder what he meant by that? Psalm 59 doesn't stray from this pattern as David talks about what he hopes God does to his enemy!

 Just about the time the reader thinks that surely David is way off and has lost it he redeems himself with this statement in verse 16: but as for me...

This phrase is then followed by David's declaration over his own heart. He says that he will sing of the Lord's goodness. He says he will not only sing, but do so joyfully. I cannot honestly say that I have been singing joyfully through adverse circumstances. David concentrates on what God is doing and who He is rather than the adversity surrounding him.

He says he will sing of the Lord's strength - not his own.
He'll sing of His lovingkindness...
He'll sing of how the Lord has been his stronghold..and refuge even in distress...

He didn't concentrate on what he felt God wasn't doing for him...but on what God was  doing. I must admit there are times I get frustrated because of the things I feel God is not doing on my behalf. But today, I will meditate on what He is doing around me, through me and in my situation. Will you join me?