God's Got Us Covered

 

Do you ever feel inadequate? I'm starting to wonder if this is a daily feeling for caregivers. It can easily feel like I can never do enough, give enough, or get enough done in a day. Honestly, I go to bed every night feeling a bit defeated because of the things I did not get done that day. Nevermind the fact that I've provided complete care for another whole adult who can do absolutely nothing for himself. But there always seems like something that got left hanging. You know? That one project for a client that needed to be done yesterday. It might not be something that big that eats away at me either. It may be something like forgetting to cook up a butternut squash and pureeing it so it can be ready to add to my son's meals. 

Whether it's huge or little leaving things we feel we need to finish can nag away at us. So, this morning when my eyes came across 2 Peter 1:3, I let out a sigh and let all those things go. This verse says that God has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of Christ...

Everything. Nothing left undone on God's part, right? We talk about exclusionary statements on this blog a lot, and once again there is none! Peter, inspired by the Holy Spirit, did not say - God has given everyone but caregivers all they need for life and godliness. We are included in His words no matter what our standing in life. He did not leave us out! 

Life AND Godliness. The second part of this verse offered me much hope this morning. He has given us what we need for life - the natural side of things. And He gives us what we need for godliness - the spiritual side of things. It seems to me that He provides us the full-package to deal with everything life throws at us including all our caregiving responsibilities, fears of the future, feelings of loss, and you fill in the blank with what you deal with - and He's giving us the strength, hope, love, peace, and grace to make it through.

But He also didn't leave out the spiritual side. Do you ever get frustrated when people only see you as a caregiver and can't see you as the spiritual person you are? We are caregivers - but we are still children of God - called by the Most High - filled with His Spirit - and able to teach, discern, comfort, etc. God sees us as His child first. He still loves us, gives us grace for the journey, and equips us to live a life fully guided by Holy Spirit. Isn't that wonderful?

Today, I will be thankful that God cares for me as a caregiver. But I will also be thankful that He looks past that and sees me as His little girl that He wants to care for. My meditation will be on how He gives me strength for this journey and how He holds my spirit and my hands up as I walk the lonely path of caregiving. I'll rejoice that He didn't leave us out - but He gives us ALL we need for both life and godliness through Christ. And with that, I will choose to rest in Him and trust Him to carry me through one more day. Will you join me? 

Whatcha Looking At?

 As caregivers, there are tons of things that demand our attention throughout the day. It can be different for each of us, but in general, we have to clothe, dress, feed, transfer, and make decisions for another whole person. It's an understatement to say our plates are full. For caregivers, that's plates - plural. They are all full and they all seem to demand our attention all at the same time. 

As I was reading through some passages in Paul's epistles this morning I realized his plate was full too. He wasn't a caregiver as such, but he did nourish and care for the baby church that had just been birthed spiritually. He had a lot on his plate too. He got discouraged, was afraid at times, and had his moments too. Paul was human.

But in 2 Corinthians 4:7-9, he reminded the new believers at Corinth that the treasure of Christ dwells in this clay pot. We hold the treasure of heaven in an earthen vessel. Then he says this:

• we are hard-pressed on every side - yet not crushed
• we are perplexed - but not in despair
• we are persecuted - but not forsaken
• we are struck down - but not destroyed

He goes on to talk about how we die so that Christ lives through us. Even though our flesh is suffering Christ is working in us. Then he goes on to say that we do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things that are not seen. The things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal.

Sure, we can get bogged down in the cares of the day. We all know we have a lot to do, right! And while we have responsibilities to fulfill - they are not where our focus should be. The things we cannot see - grace, truth, God's love, His mercy - are eternal. They are not disrupted by the things we are living through down here. Our focus is still to be set on the Kingdom of God - and all of Who He is. Considering these eternal, unchangeable, undisruptable things about God is what can carry us through each day. So, whatcha looking at? 

Today, I will shift my focus to the things about God that do not change. I'll meditate on His great love for me (and you), how He mercifully carries me through each day and long, dark night. My thoughts will be on His unshakable kingdom - that He put inside me. And with that I will trust Him for just one more day. Will you join me? 

If you enjoy these devotionals - check out my devotionals and Bible studies in my online  bookstore: Dove's Fire Ministries Education.

The Anchor Holds

This morning as I was meditating on Isaiah 26:3, I thought of an old song. It's called The Anchor Holds. One line says, though the ship is battered. Sometimes it can feel like life is a battering ram that keeps coming back to crush us over and over. Thankfully, this is not an everyday thing for most of us, but for some caregivers, it can feel that way.

As caregivers, we can just get tired. You know what I mean? It takes a lot to do everything for a day for two adults.  Dressing, bathing, feeding, entertaining all take energy, especially when it comes to another whole person no matter what their age or size. It can be exhausting.

I was preparing for my live devotions this morning and found my thoughts going around and around Isaiah 26:3. You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on You. Because He trusts in You. Underneath all the busy-ness of our minds and bodies there remains a peace we can count on. Even though our minds can chase a lot of thoughts in a day - we always reel it in and bring it back to Him. And that is where we find perfect peace. No matter how stormy it gets - we find our peace in Him. That's been an anchor that has held me securely all my life - and the last 12 years of caregiving too.

I was focusing on verse three, but when I looked it up to actually lay eyes on it, I grabbed the next verse too. Verse four says Trust in the Lord forever, for in Yah, the Lord, is everlasting strength. I'm so glad He is not selfish and shares His strength with us, aren't you?

Today, I will keep trusting Him - it's not the day to give up! My crazy, hurried thoughts I will turn into prayers to the God who sees, to God - who cares. I'll keep bringing my mind back to Him no matter how hectic the day becomes because I trust Him. And I will trust Him - for one more day. Will you join me?

Darn Those Rough Spots

Every day is challenging for caregivers. Period. Even our better days are filled with things others may never even have to deal with or think about. I don't know the specifics of your daily drills - but mine include transfers, tube feedings, changings, dressing, range of motion, and feeding.. for starters. Of course, there are tons of other things that come up in the midst of the caregiver's norms. We do tend to adjust, don't we? And we just keep putting one foot in front of another. Other people might call these the "rough spots." But I call the extra bumps - like making decisions on behalf of another person or dealing with extra emotional baggage the rougher spots.

What are we to do when things go from rough to rougher? Personally, I'm just sad lately. I'm sad Chris can't walk, talk, or do anything for himself. I think a lot about who he was - and all he did. That creates a rough spot emotionally. Sometimes there doesn't seem to be a way to tunnel under it or climb over it and it's far too wide to try and get around.

I remind myself that the psalmist said, He is near the brokenhearted....and saves those who are crushed in spirit. (Psalm 34:18) I guess this isn't the type of broken I always wanted to be. You know? I want to be broken before Him  - as in humble. But not broken before Him as in lots of pieces. But I'm pretty sure He is near me either way. And I still must remain humble before Him - life tends to have a way of humbling us doesn't it?

So here I am trying to gather up all those broken pieces so I can bring them to the foot of the cross. Then I realize He is right beside me helping me pick them up. He's already carrying them for me. I have but to be humble before Him and not worry about the pieces of my heart... of my life....

Today, if all we can do is trust that He is near - that's enough. There is no striving - it's not work. It's not one more thing on top of everything else we already carry - it's not a chore. So, today, I will close my eyes, release my grip on my broken life, and trust. I'll trust that He is near - that He hears - He sees - and He cares. That's going to make my day go much easier. How about you?

Tired of Being Weary? or Weary of Being Tired?

Days like today help me be more reflective. It's a crazy day - crazier than normal in our multi-generational home setting. Between sick people and sleepless nights, it can be difficult to focus and be productive at morning's light. It makes me wish there was a "pause" button so I could take a breath and gather myself and my thoughts. But, we all know that's not going to happen.

On these kinds of days, caregiving seems merciless as tasks demand to be done whether we are in the mood, have any energy or not. When I feel fatigued (mentally, physically, emotionally) I always think of the familiar scripture in Isaiah 40. Verse 28 reminds us: Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Everlasting God, the Lord, the Creator of the ends of the earth does not become weary or tired.  I'm guessing weary and tired are two different things here. I appreciate that distinction because I think for me, tired is the state of the body and weary is the state of the soul.

Body tired is easily fixed. You can rest, sleep, eat right and take some time off if you're not a full-time caregiver and rejuvenate. But soul tired is a different story. How do we rest our soul? Maybe that's why the next verse says, He gives strength to the weary. (No reference to the tired.) and to him who lacks might He increases power. 

Verse 31 is a great reminder for me today too. Yet those who wait on the Lord will gain new strength. They will mount up with wings like eagles. They will run and not get tired. They will walk and not become weary.

So today, we just keep walking, trusting, and believing in the midst of the tiredness and weariness. It's a conditional promise that if we wait on Him THEN He will give us new strength to run this race without tiring out and walk on in faith without being overcome by weariness. Psalm 121:7b says He will keep your soul. 

So, today, I intend on putting my soul back in His care. My meditation and prayers will be focused on waiting on Him to rejuvenate my soul rather than trying to find strength within myself. I'll turn my thoughts to letting Him carry me for this part of the journey. I'll try to get rid of the I can do it all mentality and trust Him instead. And I'll rest right in the thought of waiting on Him rather than making my own way through as I trust Him for one more day. Will you join me?

Boxed In

There are lots of reasons for caregivers to be tired. Sometimes, we stay tired. It takes all our strength to keep putting one foot in front of another to make a day. Lately, I've had times it feels like it takes everything I've got to just to breathe.  I kinda hope I'm all alone on that - and kinda hope someone understands at the same time.

In the photo with me is my dear Aunt Polly. She's been living in a home provided by a wonderful ministry that takes care of widows. However, at this point, her care needs have exceeded the scope of their capacity. I went to pick her up last week. She's staying with me until "we" whoever that is, can figure out a plan for her care. What an honor it is to be trusted with both her and my son's care. My heart is full - but so are my hands!

In the complexity of the situation and the overwhelming emotions, stress, and thinking, I've reached a conclusion that may seem unrelated. I want to live outside this box. Of course, I'm not talking about changing the "box" life's situations have put me in. What I mean is I don't want to be self-consumed with the things I deal with. It's so easy to do - and it's even fair. As caregivers, we have TONS on our plate. It can so easily become all about me.

Being given, or forced into, this situation lol - has me thinking. It's too easy to become self-absorbed with what's on our plate. In one way, it's natural. But I want to see past my box. Somehow, I want to touch other's lives with the gospel of peace. We can still be the light. There is always someone watching. In my deep contemplations, I've decided to find ways to minister to others. I refuse to be boxed in.

Obviously, I can't "go" to the mission field like my heart's desires were to do, but I can find ways to reach outside my box. I invited my neighbor over for coffee and forged a friendship with her. I really want to make baskets and take them to ICU waiting rooms. I'll fill them with items that we often don't have there like toothbrushes, small hand lotions, q-tips, snacks, etc. That's something that's been on my heart for a long time. It's time to do it - because I refuse to focus on myself. I want to focus on Him and His children. I'm going to live outside this box - even though I'm boxed in.

Today, I'm going to thank Him for my box. Seriously. I'm going to be thankful that I know Him in a capacity I might have never known had life never placed me in this box. I'll thank Him for His mercy, His grace to make it, His patience with me and then I'll thank Him again for being patient with me! lol I'll nestle right up next to His heart and listen for His breath as I trust Him for one more day. Will you join me?

Peeking Out of the Cave

Do you feel like you are in a constant state of change? Sometimes I am afraid to put my feet down so to speak, as everything is bound to be different before I get them settled. Today will be different too, as each day is unique and yet redundant at the same time.

We do the same caregiving tasks over and over, day after day. Today, though I have the promise of an aide. And now that I have settled in to an aide-less routine, that means changing it all up again. It sounds silly and like it wouldn't matter, but it really does change a lot.

For instance, I want to make sure our laundry is sorted out because when aides are not coming regularly I do some of it together. I also have to get Chris fed, bathed or up (depending on his sleeping schedule) before the aide comes - or figure out when it fits in. I pretty much have to change the way I do my mornings since I have word he's really going to come. (His boss told him if he didn't show up today, she'd restaff him. Why she didn't say that to the one who is supposed to come 3 days a week I have no idea.) I'm trying not to get too excited about maybe getting to run outside or go grab a few groceries because you never really know.

I'm thinking it would be really nice if people just did their jobs. But today I'm wondering if that's just a bit much to ask. I really feel like aides, and maybe even others, don't really know their value. Maybe they think it's just a "job." They don't understand the break they can give us or how much it helps for them to tackle some of our daily chores. They just want to get their paycheck. But that is not in any way a demonstration of their true value.

When it comes to relieving the caregiver, a good aide is invaluable. They don't seem to get that. Even doing a couple loads of laundry, vacuuming or sitting with my son for a few minutes so I can run is worth more than anyone can pay. Especially if I get to run out and be free for a few minutes! They are not here long and I have to balance it all with work so I often have to choose between getting some errands done or going for a run. I also have to do everything with one eye on the watch because I have to be time conscious. But it can make or break my day. They don't understand the value in that.

As I am thinking about aides and how they can really make a difference for caregivers if they put just a little heart into it, I wonder if we underestimate our value to God, and to others for that matter. We can feel cut off and separate from society like we live in a cave with no real value to give. Ah, yes the caregiver's cave. It can be a humble, but safe place to be.  It can also be lonely and dark sometimes. And when we do dare to peek out - it looks so different out there.

Our days, our jobs, our lives can look so different, in fact that it's much easier to stay tucked inside rather than venture out to see what our lives appear to be lacking. I have to guard my attitude sometimes because I hear people outside my cave whining about what I consider a simple matter - an outside the cave matter. Looking at life out there can make me feel more alone - more separated, and of less value. But this is simply not true.

We are the apple of His eye - of great value. God didn't take anything back from us as His children because we became caregivers. Every single promise still holds true. We are still in the beloved, His son still died for us, we are still the righteousness of God in Christ. He still calls us His own. And the list could go on and on. We are still part of His greatest treasure.

Today, I am going to think about how valuable I am to God, even if I don't feel like it. Life may discard us - but He does not. I'll turn my thoughts to His great love for us - even caregivers - and aides. I'll meditate on the value He must place on us. I'll think about what it means to be His prized possession or to be precious in His sight. And that should fill my mind up today - as I trust Him for one more day. Will you join me?

All I Need is One Forever

The caregiver's life is not considered to be normal by most people's standards, because is anything but normal. We do find our new norms and through experimentation find out what works, and does not work for our particular situation; and each one of our situations is totally unique.

While we are all so different in the things we deal with each day, we still share many commonalities. A caregiver's life no matter what can tend to be: hectic, frustrating, endless, tiring, and overall crazy most of the time! (maybe that's just me!)

Our days are definitely not normal. It might be normal for us to keep a bag packed and ready to go in case there's  midnight (or anytime) run to the ER. All our doctor's numbers are on speed dial - and yes there are more than one. We plan our grocery shopping around aides, if we have a good one. We learn how to order everything online - and I mean everything. We also learn to do a lot of medically related tasks that we would have never dreamed of like tube feeding, giving enemas (yes, I said it), administering medicines or even shots, breathing treatments, checking O2 levels and counting respirations. These may be a part of our days- and many people never even think about these types of things, let alone have to do them. And of course, I left a lot out.

So what keeps us together in our own hectic normal? Well, just like each of our normals are different, and we all deal with situations differently because we are still unique individuals, it can vary. What makes it all tick for each of us can also vary from day to day, or even moment to moment. You may find a scripture comforting and peace-giving one day; and only find it frustrating the next. (Maybe that's just me....)

Today what I found comforting is in the last few verses of Psalm 73. Verses 23-26 go like this:

Nevertheless I am continually with You;

You have taken hold of my right hand.

With Your counsel You will guide me,

And afterward receive me to glory.

Whom have I in heaven but You?

And besides You, I desire nothing on earth.

My flesh and my heart may fail,

But God is the strength of my heart 

and my portion forever.

Several things seemed to grab me and soothe me at the same time during my devotions this morning. First, the psalmist says, "I am continually with You." I found that odd, because we usually say that 

He is with us - not that we are with Him. There is comfort in realizing that He is with us - but if I position myself with Him it's gotta be a choice. To know that I'm with God - and He's walking the journey with me and holding my hand...brings peace to my heart.

But I also really heard verses 25 and 26 - Verse 25 to me states that we have that hope of spending eternity with Him - but we also have the desire to be with Him now, on earth. And here on this earth my heart and my flesh may fail....we can get tired; and be tired of being tired and then get tired of that too! But God.....

He is the strength of my heart - He pours His strength into me when I am not sure I can take on one more thing. And it seems one more things just keep coming sometimes. (maybe that's just me too..) He is the strength of my heart - His presence in and with me gives me the courage to keep on going...one step in front of another no matter what responsibilities we face on behalf of our loved ones. And not only is He going pour His strength into our hearts to lift us up - He is my portion forever. I like that He is all I need forever. 

He provides everything we need to survive today; and He'll do it again tomorrow, and the next day, and the next,......and the next...... forever. He won't get tired and leave us stranded. He's our portion - our lot - our inheritance - our strength - forever!

Today I am going to meditate on His strength rather than my lack of strength. I will allow Him to fill me up with all He is. I'm going to turn my thoughts to his forever-ness. He is with me forever. He is my strength forever. He is my God forever. He is my peace forever. There's not a lot of forevers....there's only one. But one forever - is all I need.