Showing posts with label condemnation. Show all posts
Showing posts with label condemnation. Show all posts

Did You Hear That?

As if the life of a caregiver didn't have enough daily ups and downs, it can seem like life just feels the need to throw a few more circumstances at us sometimes. Yesterday, my day had so many ups and downs my emotions were all drained out by evening. There was good: the mobility van was fixed and running. Then there was bad: now the lift is broke. Of course I had cancelled our ride arrangements for the next two days since I was getting the van back. So we are stuck at home again for a little bit. But such is a day.

Needless to say, today I feel the need to heed the words of Psalm 46:10 Be still and know that I am God. It is difficult to be still when your thoughts are running all around in your head. So I am sipping my second cup of coffee and trying to get my head and my heart to slow down and take this day one second at a time instead of in a whole lump all at once.

I found myself in Psalm 143 during my devotions as I was trying to calm myself down to face the day. The psalmist starts out with a plea to God to:
Hear his prayer
Listen to his pleading
Answer his pleas for help
Caregivers can find themselves in situations where we just want God to hear us, listen to our hearts and answer us in His faithfulness. David goes on in this Psalm to explain what he is feeling at the moment:
My spirit is overwhelmed
My heart is desolate
My heart feels like fainting

He's crying out for answers and help in his situation. And the caregiver asks for nothing less. In verse 7, David says answer me quickly Lord, before my spirit fails. Who hasn't felt like that? Any number of situations can arise in a day of caregiving and we feel like we are just going to faint if God doesn't provide some answers. They don't even have to be the ones we want or like - but we just need some answers.

This morning as I was trying to slow my heart and mind down and absorb something from His word, my eye fell on verse 8. Let me hear Your lovingkindness in the morning. Can we hear mercy? Is His lovingkindness real enough to feel? Of course my head went off with tons of questions; but my thoughts ended up with the woman the Pharisees brought to the temple. You know, the one the leaders brought to Jesus to condemn? (John 8) 

They were saying she had been caught in sin and should be stoned. But Jesus did not condemn her. He asked the one without sin to throw the first stone at her; and they all just walked away. I wonder if she heard mercy that day? She certainly heard the hate and condemnation in the voices of the Pharisees. Today I need to hear mercy in His voice. While I'm going to guess that God does not fix vans or redeem us from every single situation we face as caregivers, I am going to lean on Him for direction and answers today. 

Today I will meditate on His great, endless mercy. I will purposefully lean in close to Him and listen for His heart beating for me. My thoughts will be on how He can bring peace into a tumultuous situation and calm the emotionally raging soul. And I will cling to His peace today. Will you join me? 

When I Fall

Ever have those times where it just all caves in on you all at once? Emotions run away from you while you get sucked into the huge black hole of the circumstance? (maybe it's just me!) Faith begins to wane and it seems like there isn't a big enough shovel to dig yourself out....ever been there?

 What's the worse part of it all is how quickly the enemy can come in and start throwing stones of condemnation at us while we are down. He tries to make us think that we are faithless because we haven't been able to change the circumstance. The next step he takes us on through the course of logic is hopelessness..like it's never going to be better or different...and we fall deeper and deeper into the emotional despair. Then he quickly picks up more labeled stones to try to get us convinced that we are not worth God's effort...he attacks our self esteem...until it seems there's not even enough strength to cry out!

 And then the most amazing thing happens - as quickly as it all hits - He washes it all away. Maybe He uses a phone call, a devotion, a song...But somehow surprisingly and instantly He lifts us out...

This is where Micah 7:8-10 kick in.  Do not gloat over me my enemies! For though I fall, I will rise again. Though I sit in darkness, the Lord Himself will be my light. It's not so much about where we are today - because battles will rage - it's more about the whole picture. God does not sit up in heaven with a big stick waiting for us to show some weak little sign of disbelief so that He can condemn us and say Yeah, I knew you couldn't do it... And He certainly doesn't jump on board with the enemy to beat us down in those moments of doubt...He patiently waits for just the right opportunity to lift us out...

 We cannot give completely in during those deep dark moments that we feel so far away from the real world..even though we cannot sense Him at all sometimes...He is there patiently waiting for us to gain strength and sometimes giving us the strength to care enough to search for strength! But He is there...waiting...He is here...He will take up our case!

The Chase

  This morning, I was reading about Benaiah in 2 Samuel 23. He was one of David's mighty men, and these three or so verses are all we kn...