Showing posts with label hospital stays. Show all posts
Showing posts with label hospital stays. Show all posts

Refocusing


 Is it just me or does it seem like each day gives way to millions of thoughts? They aren't all bad - and that's a good thing, right? It just seems sometimes that there are so many things that happen over the course of 24 hours. My mind sometimes races from one thought to the next. Sometimes, it's dangerous. lol - Sometimes, it's calming. 

Last night, for instance, my son had a mild asthma attack. My mind and emotions went a million directions all at one time as I packed Chris' tube feeding supplies and my coffee pot with coffee pods. (The two essentials for hospital stays!) He was able to kick it, and soon settled into a good night's sleep. 

I wish I could say that I'm in a place where those seemingly little things don't trip me up or send me off the emotional cliff. Maybe you've got it all together, but I'll gladly admit my lack. I wish I had it all together - whatever "it" is. But I do not. What I do know, though, is that each time my circumstances start tripping me up emotionally and mentally, I have the opportunity to refocus. That's not to say it's always easy. Not at all. But once I settle down a bit and realize we lived ...again, then I can get my mind back on how He continues to carry me and my son.

It was so easy last night to give in to fear. I talked myself through all the what-ifs, have you ever done that? Once I walked through them mentally, I thought of all the times He had brought me through. Then, I was able to slowly refocus on His ability to care for me - and the feelings of not being enough, the fears, and what-ifs, began to fade away. He really is our help. (Psalm 121:2) He really is our strength. He really will carry us when we need it. Refocusing on what He can do instead of on what I can't do - brings peace. We are secure in Him.

Today, I will refocus on His strength. I will let my weaknesses drive me to Him so He can share His strength with me. My meditations will be of His sustaining power, of His willingness and ability to carry me. And I'll be thankful for how He watches over me - no matter where I am - home or hospital, or anywhere in between. will you join me?

No Sleeping on the Job!

Sometimes the caregiver is left floundering on their own and sometimes there are organizations or individuals who help them out. There are programs to help pay for aides and supplies that are very beneficial for helping us stay sane. When I have an aide it means I get out a little more to run, or run errands and that is good. There are nurses who come periodically to check my son out and see that he is healthy and being taken care of. Family members often sit with my son so that I can do things I enjoy or escape for a weekend. I am very appreciative of this "village" that helps me out from time to time.

However, I learned a long time back when this caregiving journey first began that my help comes from the Lord. I had no idea of the the types of situations and decisions I would be facing on a daily basis back then, but I knew if I was going to survive I would have to look at Him for my help. I began to meditate on Psalm 121 while we were still living in the ICU waiting room. I stayed there day and night for 3 weeks before we moved to an isolation room on a regular floor where we remained for over 3 months.

A few days into our ICU stay I was in prayer and thought about all the wonderful nurses and doctors who were providing exceptional care for my son. But as I was thinking about what a great job they were doing I also realized that they couldn't help me. They could talk to me, calm me down, try to ease my fears...but they were not my help - only God could under gird me in the time of trouble.

One of my son's friends had loaned me a guitar for the hospital stay and I sat down and put some chords and a melody to Psalm 121. I knew I would have to look to God for my soul's help, for my peace and comfort and that He alone was my true help.  I knew I was in a position to look to Him and only Him. As the last 7 years of caregiving have unfolded, I continue to look to Him for strength, comfort and wisdom as the daily walk continues and I meditate on this psalm often.

I will look to the Lord
Where does my help come from? 
My help comes from the Lord
Who made heaven and earth
He will not allow your foot to slip
He who keeps you will not slumber
Behold, He who keeps Israel 
Will never slumber nor sleep 

It's such a comforting thing for me to know that God's not sleeping on the job! He is always watching over my soul and keeping me safely tucked in His own heart.

Today I will meditate on the fact that He does not rest; but He continuously keeps me and watches over my soul so that I do not faint. My thoughts will be on the truth that He is always on the job and He never even takes a break to rest. And I will rest knowing He is my peace and strength. Will you join me?

If you'd like to see the video I made of the song I wrote after I got in my son's room you can see it on my facebook page here: Psalm 121.

Who Cares?

It can be easy for caregivers to think that no one cares. But in most instances, we know people do - they just do not know how to express it or show it. I remember when my son was first injured and how many caring people came through the SICU to see him. After 3 weeks we moved to an isolation room on a regular floor and still there were quite a few visitors that came through. As the hospital stay alone turned into a 4 month journey I knew that visitors would continue to taper off. I didn't take it personal; it's just the way it is. Sometimes this can feel like people do not care. But that's not really true it's just that they do not know what to do with the situation over the long haul.

Very few people have what it takes to continue walking an extended journey with you. But that does not mean that their intentions are bad. Folks just don't know what to do when the battle continues on. A lot of people are very good at being there for someone who is in "fix it up" mode; but have no clue what to do past the initial shock and trauma. They get to return to their normal lives while you are left to try and figure out how to get used to your new "normal" which is anything but normal. In most cases everything has changed including the friends you had. And it can be easy to slip into thinking that no one cares. Most people really do care - they just don't know what to do about it...so they ignore you.

2 Peter 5:7 tells us to cast all your care on Him, for He cares for you. I look at this last phrase "He cares for you" in two different ways. On one hand we can think of it as He cares for us - or is concerned about our needs, pains, and wants. He cares what goes on in our lives and offers us peace and comfort. The other way to look at it is that He does the caring for us - so we don't have to. For me, either one of these can be very comforting!

Have you ever had times that you felt like He didn't care? Honestly, I have. When life gets hectic and feels out of control it can be easy to wonder where He went and if He really cared why all of "this" (whatever your "this" is) ever had to happen in the first place. But remember all our favorite stories in the Bible - it is likely that they are our favorites because of how the person overcame adversity not escaped it altogether. We gain courage when we think about how David killed Goliath, Daniel was rescued from the lion's den, or Moses took the Children of Israel across the Red Sea. He was with them caring for them in their trouble.

Today I will meditate on the truth that God is with me and that He is going to do all the caring today! I'll think about how He cares for me by providing for my every need, comforts me and watches over my soul. Will you join me in letting Him care for us today?

The Chase

  This morning, I was reading about Benaiah in 2 Samuel 23. He was one of David's mighty men, and these three or so verses are all we kn...