Forgotten

Have you ever felt forgotten? I have. We can easily get sucked into the caregiver's fog and the rest of the world goes on without us. Today is my son's 35th birthday. These days are difficult. I opened up his facebook to read him his greetings only to be flooded with his friend's who have "gone on" with their lives, and they should.

They stopped visiting and calling long ago when he couldn't answer them. I don't blame them, they were all so young when he was injured. But it still hurts my heart that he is forgotten and left to just deal.

Then some caregivers have to deal with another side of being forgotten. It can yield a host of emotions from a totally different angle. That is when we care for loved ones with dementia or Alzheimer's. They forget us. My mom hasn't quite forgotten me yet, but most of the time it takes her a few minutes to figure out I'm not just someone who works there. Mid-conversation she'll look up and go, "OH! You're my daughter!" It's funny -but it's not.

It is emotional to be forgotten, no matter what the circumstances. We want to be remembered. It's not anyone's fault but it can still wear away at our emotions. I have to remind myself that there is One who has not forgotten. God never forgets. He knows what we walk through each day as caregivers. He understands all those seemingly little things that wear away at our minds and emotions.

Isaiah 49:15 asks, Can a woman forget her nursing child and have no compassion on the son of her womb? Even these may forget - but I will not forget you.

In Psalm 27:10, the psalmist says for my father and mother have forsaken me, but the Lord will take me up.

Caregiving can be a lonely walk. We can feel forgotten by men and God. We can't fix the human part -  but we can rejoice in God's part. He will not forget us - He will not forget our afflictions. Instead, He comes running to us to help us - and carry us when needed. Let's just acknowledge that He is here and encourage ourselves in the truth that He has not forgotten us.

Today, I will remind myself that He hasn't forgotten the hand life dealt me. I will meditate on His care of my heart and mind. I'll be thankful that He is the keeper of my soul. This will be my meditation today as I lean a little more into Him on this emotional day. Will you join me?

Life on the Sidelines

Even in our technological world it can seem like we are cut off from life. The caregiver cannot always get out and about like everyone else; sometimes even though we can keep up with others via television and Facebook, it seems everyone's life goes on where ours stopped. This is a normal part of caregiving; and one we must deal with. I usually deal with painful areas such as these by finding something similar in scripture; we can find comfort in situations when we see that someone else has lived through similar circumstances. It allows us to grab hold of some hope that tells us we can get through this season!

As feelings of isolation swept over me last week, I began to feel like life had discarded me. Immediately I went to the Word for hope and peace. In 2Samuel 9 we find King David looking for any survivors of the household of Saul. He finally found Ziba who had been one of Saul's servants and he asked Ziba if there was anyone at all left in Saul's household as David wanted to show God's kindness to them." (v.3) Ziba replied to the king that there was one of Jonathon's sons still alive -- but he's crippled. It seems he said it in such a way that indicates Mephibosheth wasn't worthy of being blessed because of his disability. But I love David's response- he did not ask how crippled Mephibosheth was or anything about his condition - he said Where is he? David went on to give Jonathan's son a place at his own table and he lived with David the rest of his days.

Mephibosheth ate at David's table as if he was one of his sons. David made sure that Mephibosheth received all of Saul's belongings and ordered that other people take care of him by farming his land; all while Mephibosheth lived in the palace!

I tend to think of it this way - my life is crippled; my son is crippled and discarded by society. He has no "friends"as he cannot give back to the relationship. It can be very easy to feel that life has discarded us altogether. But as I read on through 2 Samuel I found an interesting verse in chapter 14. It says this: God tries to bring us back when we have been separated from Him. He does not sweep away the lives of those He cares about.

Even if we feel like we are living life on the sidelines - God has not discarded us! Others may not understand what we are going through and many may not ever reach out to us in our pain. But God does know where we are and who we are and what we are going through. And just like David sought out Mephibosheth - God seeks us out to bless us, to hold us and offer us a place at His table.

Today I will meditate on the fact that I am a King's kid! I'll think about how He has provided and continues to provide for my family. I will picture in my mind what it must look like for Him to come looking for me! And I'll smile....will you join me?

My Hiding Place

This time of year can get very crazy real quick! For those who are shut in (or mostly shut in) it can be very difficult. Everyone is even busier trying to get all their shopping done and all the arrangements made for their celebrations. But for the caregiver many times, things do not change just because it is Christmas; or any other holiday for that matter. Because of the busy-ness even fewer people come or call. On one hand, it is understood; on the other the loneliness can deepen.

 But during this very busy time of year we must remember that He remains our hiding place. The psalmist said in Psalm 9:7: You are my hiding place; You preserve me from trouble; You surround me with songs of deliverance. And He does! Whether our lives have become extremely hectic this time of year, or extremely lonely He continues to protect us and to hide us in His shelter.
 

 I think the part I like even more about this verse is that while we are hidden in Him - He surrounds us with songs. I like to picture myself wrapped up in Him like a cozy, comfy, warm blanket all snuggled up and safe. (maybe sipping a cup of hot cocoa too!) And I quietly listen to Him sing about deliverance. Don't you like that picture? While sometimes my days seem too hectic to allow the image to remain too long in my head - it is a pleasant one for a few minutes! Today I will try to bring my thoughts back to this place: the place where I am hidden in Him. I think I like it that it is not all my choice; but His as well. As happy as I am to be snuggled up with Him, listening to Him sing over me - He is just as happy to have me there! Isn't that good to know? Relax today - rest in Him. Forget about the holiday - think about Him today!

Just Like Everyone Else

The life of a caregiver is certainly not an easy one! Yet I am sure that there are far worse circumstances to have to deal with. But this can be a lonely and painful walk. Each day can present various situations that must be overcome; obstacles that seem insurmountable.But we are still breathing; and we are still caregiving - so we must still be learning to trust in Him to take us one more day! Challenging pretty much sums up our lives, doesn't it? lol!

 I have found that just because my life is lived in a cave of adversity, it does not exempt me from the requirements laid out in the Word. So far I have not found one time when there was a command given and special stipulations were given for caregivers; or any other sufferers for that matter. (but I am still looking! lol!) Jesus did not say give to those who ask and do not turn away from those who want to borrow - unless you are a caregiver in which case you don't have to worry about it! It does not read like that anywhere! We still have the same solid word, the same constant commands to follow as everyone else. But this is good - because it also means that we have His peace, comfort and joy accessible to us - just like everyone else!

 So when I read this scripture in Philipians this morning I knew that we do not get a "break" just because we are caregivers: In everything you do, stay away from complaining and arguing so that no one can speak a word of blame against you. You are to live clean, innocent lives as children of God in a dark world full of crooked and perverse people. (Philippians 2:14) We do not get an exception on this command even though we live in adversity!

 If we are not careful (maybe I should just say if I am not careful) it is easy to complain about many things. We have lost many things in life that brought us to the journey of caregiving. It is so very important to train our minds to find the things to be thankful for each day. So today instead of letting the situation get us down - let us turn our focus onto the way He has provided for us in the situation. Let us concentrate and meditate on His peace, His love and His care for us even in the midst of life's ongoing storm.