No Walking Out

I wear a little fitness band by Withings. It tracks my steps each day and at night I can set it to monitor my sleep. Yesterday this is what my sleep looked like! I got in bed late and had some restless sleep and then my son spiked a fever and we headed to the hospital. It ended up not being anything serious - but with him, as with many you just never know. We were back home in just a couple of hours but there are times under similar conditions when we've been admitted and faced a hospital stay. We just never know.

Over time as caregivers we don't really get used to these trips, but we do adjust to them being just part of our lives. fortunately these trips do not occur as often as they have in the past, but they sure wear me out when they do.

Days like today I have to think about my go-to scripture in Isaiah 40:28 that says The Everlasting God, the Lord, the Creator of the ends of the earth does not become weary or tired. I sure would like to know how that feels. How can He not get tired? Not only does He deal with millions of people everyday He never sleeps! It makes me wonder why He made us need to sleep. It's always seemed like such a waste of time to me to spend nearly one-third of our day in a horizontal position. I've always tried to get 6 hours of sleep so I'm not wasting so much time.

Since we know God is not sleeping or taking a break, we can rest assured that He is always watching over us. He sees us when we make those 3 AM runs to the hospital. He hears us fussing at Him about how we need more strength and asking Him to help us make through the night. He knows how frustrated we can get with the system. But He never gets tired. He never comes to the end of Himself like I do.

He never shakes His head and walks away. Sometimes I can get the feeling that people get tired of the caregiver's situation. It may be because they really don't know what to do to help or make it better. Since they can't fix anything for us they walk away. God never does that - He just keeps on walking it out with us day after day.

Today I will meditate on the truth that He will not leave me. I'm going to think about how He doesn't get tired of me, He doesn't get frustrated, shake His head and walk out. I will think about how He is the only constant in my life and today I will lean on Him. Will you join me?

When the Caregiver Needs a Caregiver

Have you ever felt terribly alone and hopeless? I think those feelings come with the caregiving package as a general rule and perhaps everyone has felt them at one time or another. But when stuff starts to pile up on you it can make an already difficult situation even harder to deal with. The aide doesn't come in, the van broke down, or you, the caregiver doesn't feel well. Any of these can make for difficult days but then there are times they all happen at the same time. Even though we'd like to we just can't give up. What would we give up to? Where would we go? Despair can easily set in when situations are overwhelming. But one look at our loved one and we remember why we are doing this "job" to begin with. Somehow they help us keep it in perspective.

We can think of their vulnerability, their needs and just the fact that we love them and want to protect them and it helps us adjust our own attitude. That's when we seem to reach down a little further and dig out a better attitude and strength we didn't even know we had to face one more day. Are there ever days when you wonder if someone would have that kind of stick-to-it-iveness for you? Maybe we wonder that but we don't have time to dwell there - there's too much to get done to spend time thinking about that.

I'm thinking that God is the only one who is really sticking to it for the caregiver. We get weary, people who help us get weary - but God never gets weary. Some days I can feel like the energizer bunny and I keep going and going. Other days, I wind down and it takes all my energy and strength to just get out of the bed in the morning. God never feels that way. As a matter of fact, in Isaiah 40, verse 28 states that He never gets weary or tired. And the next verse says He gives strength to the weary. Days like today I have to raise my hand and say, "Me! I need strength to make it today!" And He always equips and encourages me from the inside out.

I am amazed at how He can encourage when there is no hope and strengthen when there is no might. So far I haven't seen an intake valve - but He puts it in there somewhere. Knowing He is with me and hasn't abandoned me along the way encourages me to take one more step. This morning I was reading in Psalm 95 where it says we are the people of His pasture and the sheep of His hand. I wondered why the psalmist says people of His pasture and not the sheep of His pasture. Then I thought, it really covers everything. By being the sheep of His hand  puts us in His hands, where we are near His heart. And the people of His pasture puts us where our needs are met- we are well taken care of by the Master Caregiver.

Caregivers need to be reminded that as much care and love we put into taking care of our loved ones - God matches it in taking care of us. He watches us more closely and covers us more fully. I take comfort in the fact that He is my caregiver today. And for today - I can rest in that.

Today as I care for my son - I will look at each act of kindness and love and think about how God does that for me. My thoughts will be on His tender, loving care for me as I care for His child. And I will rest content in His arms as a small sheep trusts and relies on the shepherd. Will you join me?