Find it!

No one likes suffering. At all. Actually, we spend a lot of our lives trying to avoid it altogether. We avoid relationships that might be hurtful, as well as circumstances that might cause us internal pain. Then caregiving happens and it can feel like everything is painful all the time. While it is the most rewarding "job" on the planet, the suffering endures, pain and grief are real and constant for many of us. Sometimes we might ask what good could possibly come from all this. It's a fair question.

This morning as I was preparing my video devotional for a FB group, I came across verse 71 in Psalm 119. I'm taking it a chunk at a time each morning - and boy has it been a great study! Well, at least I've enjoyed it. lol.

Verse 71 says this It is good for me that I was afflicted, that I may learn Your statutes.(NASB) The New Living Translation (1996) says it this way The suffering you sent was good for me, for it taught me to pay attention to your principles.There's nothing like a little suffering, a little pain or bump in the road to get us to turn our attention back to God. All of a sudden, we are searching the word for answers. Or we are reading through verses looking for specifics like hope, courage, peace or a present help in time of need.

Here's the thing though, if we wait for those rough spots, those bumps in the road to get familiar with the word, we are going to be lost. When we hide the word in our hearts, then something happens we start mentally thumbing through scriptures trying to find one that fits the situation. If we've stored it in our hearts - it's there when we need it.

Do you need hope today? Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing so that you abound in hope through the power of the Holy Spirit. (Rom.15:13)
Do you need peace today? Grace and peace be multiplied to you in the knowledge of God and Jesus our Lord. (1 Peter1:2)
Are you anxious today? When my anxious thoughts multiply in me, Your consolations delight my soul. (Psalm 94:19)
Are you fearful? Do not fear for I am with you, do not anxiously look about you for I am your God.I will strengthen you, surely I will help you. I will uphold you with my righteous hand. (Isaiah 41:10)

No matter what we face from day to day - or moment to moment, God has an answer. He may not make it all go away and come riding in on a white horse to rescue us. But He will always, always, always ride through the storm with us and providing what we need to make it through. Take time to find what you need in the word today - there's always an answer there.

Today, I'm going to meditate on how the word has carried me through the tough times. I'll think about the scriptures I learned as a child and how they bring me comfort even in the trials of life. I will take time to thank Him for walking through time with me - for not abandoning me. I'll express gratitude for the way the word brings comfort and peace and reminds me that He is indeed always with me. And I will trust Him for one more day. Will you join me?

Breath of Life

You can probably tell by now (assuming you're still reading) that I like Psalm 119. It's the longest chapter in the Bible but it is so rich. Today we'll look at verses 153 to 160. David starts out with a plea for the Lord to consider his affliction. Ever felt that way? There are times we can feel very loved and watched over and the next thing you know we feel like He's packed up, moved away and left us to ourselves. (or maybe that's just me!) David must have felt some of those emotions to ask God to consider him once again.

Something that seems to stand out in these few verses is David's request to be revived once again. It's noticeable throughout the entire chapter but three times in this passage he asked for the lord to revive him.

revive me according to Your Word (v. 154)

revive me according to Your judgments (v. 156)

revive me according to Your mercy (v. 159)

It makes me think that David didn't care what means God used to do it -- he just needed to be revived! Boy, can the caregiver relate to that on some days.Our cry can easily become "give me life!". There are days when the Word seems to be beamed down from heaven straight into our hearts; and days it feels like we couldn't hear God speak if He used an audible voice. But no matter what it feels like on any given day, the word is life. (John 6:63) When we give our attention to seeking Him and His word, it brings life to our soul whether we see it, feel it or not. It goes directly into our hearts and feeds our faith - even when our flesh feels like we are in a major disconnect. 

Caregivers tend to be survivors - we can't help it, really. It becomes our very nature over time if it wasn't before we began the caregiving journey. But sometimes we have to admit we cannot do it ourselves. One thing I've heard myself say is that caregiving has shown me how strong I am; but it has equally revealed my weaknesses. We must learn to trust in Him - more than we trust ourselves.We have to become more dependent on Him and trust Him to breathe His life into us through His word.

Today I will meditate on His word and think about how it breathes life into my spirit. I'll pray for His strength to make the next part of the journey no matter what it brings; and I will rely on His strength instead of my own. Will you join me?

Mercy's Filter

I don't know many caregivers who wouldn't pay for a good night's sleep. Personally, it's not too bad for me overall but for short periods of time I may have to get up during the night. Early on I secured a mattress that helps prevent bed sores which means I don't have to turn my son every 2 hours. It really helps when we can get chunks of sleep like 4-6 hours at least. But then there are still those nights usually several in a row when I am disrupted throughout the night. Usually on top of just having to get up during the night there are other issues occurring like illness or discomfort to address.

David says in Psalm 119:148-149:  My eyes are awake through the night watches, that I may meditate on Your word. Hear my voice according to Your lovingkindness... I must say that when I am up during the "night watches" it's not always so I can meditate on the Word. In fact, it's never so I can meditate on His Word. You really don't want to know the kinds of things I think or say when my sleep is disrupted. But I can promise that my prayers are not always pure at 3 in the morning. I'm usually concerned for my son and so my prayers may sound more like yelling at God things like, "Where are You now?" or "Can You even hear me?" I have crazy thoughts like  can you see me? Have You even noticed my situation? Do You have any answers? Is there any hope?

...just bein' honest.

But the psalmist also prayed for the Lord to hear me according to Your lovingkindness or mercy. I pray that God hears my cries for help through His mercy and not from my desperation. Perhaps He filters my earnest anguished thoughts through mercy's filter. I really believe He does. When we are at our most desperate point - He looks at us through mercy not disdain. He sees we are desperate - He knows we need Him. And He extends His mercy every time.

The last portion of verse 149 reads this way: revive me according to Your justice. David is asking God to hear me and revive me. This is my prayer today.

Today I will meditate on how He extends His mercy even to me! I'll think about how He filters my cries through His mercy and revives me by breathing His life into my being. Will you join me?

You're an Original!

No two people are exactly alike. Even identical twins who look alike can be very different in their thought processes and ways they deal with life. No two caregivers are alike and no two situations are alike. We are all originals - worth saving.

In Psalm 119:94 the psalmist states: I am Yours, save me! Our flesh is just dirt and it's not what God is interested in saving. We are a spirit being and God saves the real us - that part of us that is not going to die. There is only one  of us - only one spirit being that makes us - us. We are an original through and through and God sees us as worth saving. He went to extremes to make sure we had a way to get back to Him.

I think there is a lot in this desperate plea for salvation. The two verses prior state this: Unless Your law had been my delight, I would then have perished in my affliction. I will never forget Your precepts for by them You have given me life. It would be very easy for caregiving to consume us and for many it does mean losing our own lives to care for another. But even in our affliction - His law, His word can be our delight. We must admit that sometimes we hold on to it with just a little thread of strength! But it sustains us even in our affliction. His word gives us life and light to make it through each day.

As life continues to shape us into the individuals we are, we must continue to hold on to His word. It's too easy to give up and become bitter and hard. But when life gets hard we must cling to His word with even more diligence and allow it to shape us until we look like Him. This is our comfort in our affliction that we can still look like Him - His word still works in us and for us. We do not have to perish in any affliction - we may have to endure it! But His word is able to sustain us and give us life.

Today my meditation will be on the truth that He gives me life. His word gives me the strength to breathe. I'll turn my heart and mind to accepting His help for the journey instead of trying to make it on my own. Will you join me?