Life's Not Fair - But He Is

One of the things I prayed when I started this caregiving journey was that it would not make me bitter. I didn't want to grow old and angry at life. My prayer was that God would use the pressurized situation to make me a softer person and that it would temper me into a vessel He could use.

But let's face it, we have a lot we could complain about. After all, life has dealt us what many would call an unfair blow; our lives will never be considered "normal" again. But I can't complain; or can I?

Paul told the Philippians to do all things without grumbling or complaining. (Phil. 2:14) Why did he have to say "all"? There's not much leeway there - and absolutely no exceptions or disclaimers. But... the caregiver might argue - we have a lot to complain about:

• we gave up our lives for our loved ones...and we miss it!
• our helpers didn't show up today
• medical professionals are not listening to us
• we've called the doctor 3 times and they aren't returning our calls
• we're tired
• we're lonely
• family isn't helping us like they promised
• money is short
• our friends disappeared......

All things Paul said. Why? Why aren't we as caregivers exempt from this one? Because we are the picture of the humility of Christ. We are not running this race to gain a thing; but just to get to the end. When we face our Lord in the end we will know we did not run in vain. We are running for Him; and not for what we can get out of life. Ultimately we live, run, work, and caregive to look like Him.

Isn't looking like Him the goal of every Christian? Remember Paul said we are predestined to become conformed to the image of His Son. (Romans 8:29) We did not lose our religion when we became a caregiver and our goals as believers really didn't change. Our goal has always been to look like Him and to represent Him here on earth. The good news is that we can attain this goal!  The bad news is - it's really difficult and takes a lot of work on our part. 

Life may be not fair at times, but our goal of conforming to His image is fair. As believers we all have to do it. No matter what life throws at us, where we work, who we take care of, how rich or poor we are- ultimately our goal is to look like Him. No one is exempt and there are no exclusions. That's fair. God gave us an even playing field and it's the same for everyone. 

Today I will meditate on what it means to look like Him and what types of adjustments I might need to make in my attitude. My meditations will be on yielding to Him with my whole heart and letting Him shape me into His image. Will you join me?

I am Your Servant

It's too bad that life doesn't have a "hold" button sometimes. Each caregiver has unique circumstances to deal with on a daily basis and it can be overwhelming. We get used to our "new normal" after awhile though. God equipped humans to be able to adjust and move forward. It can still take a long time to be "okay" with a lot of aspects of caregiving though. For instance going out can be a trying but rewarding experience for many. Even when you get used to it there is so much involved in just grabbing a few groceries it's exhausting. Common everyday tasks can be much more complicated for caregivers. Then add to that other life changes like aging parents and it can be overwhelming to say the least. In my case, my parents are aging and even though I am a caregiver for my handicapped son, my role with my parents is slowly evolving into that of a caregiver as well. What can we do when we are overwhelmed?

I know I spend a lot of time in the Psalms, but I just enjoy the way David is so open and honest about his thoughts, feelings and emotions. In Psalm 143 he is crying out for the Lord to hear his cries and in verse 4 he says my spirit is overwhelmed within me; my heart faints within me. Boy, what caregiver hasn't felt that at some time or another? There are days, thankfully not every day, where you just feel like you can't handle one more thing!

The other thing I like about David and the Psalms is that he talks himself out of it. As I read through the rest of Psalm 143 I found some strategies that I can adapt and use myself. They go something like this:

I meditate on Your doings

I stretch out my hands to you

I trust in You

I lift up my soul to You

I take refuge in You

Those statements are all mixed in with his heartfelt prayers for help. But the final statement in the psalm sticks out to me: I am Your servant. I think that with this statement David was handing it all, himself included, back to God to handle. To me it was a statement of total submission to God. Like he's praying and asking God for help, turning his thoughts and heart toward the Lord and then settling it all with a huge sigh and a I am Your servant. Period.

I think that may be the key when we are totally overwhelmed by all that life throws at us; yielding totally to Him. I want God to use everything that happens in my life to draw me closer to Him and to teach me more about Him and His ways. Personally, I don't think God causes these things to happen - they are just part of living; but since they have happened I don't want them to be wasted. I want to grow and learn in the midst of the trials. He has not given up on us and He won't stop working on us.

Today I will meditate on yielding my soul (mind, will and emotions) to Him. I will yield  my control and let God have it all: the good, the bad and the ugly! I will turn my thoughts and my heart to totally trusting Him to turn every situation around for something good. I will trust Him. Will you join me?