My alarm is set to go off to a local radio station. This morning while I was fumbling with the snooze button I heard them share a scripture. It's found in Psalm 139:12 and it says even the darkness is not dark to You and the night is a s bright as the day. Darkness and light are alike to You. My first thought was that He cannot see the darkness of my struggle. But as I meditated on it a little bit my perspective changed.
As I get older, my dislike for driving at night grows. It seems like it is more difficult to see at night and the headlights on our vehicles are only made to help us see a few feet in front of us at a time. I do not like my vision being obscured by the darkness. Sometimes I feel like that as a caregiver. I can barely see a tiny bit in front of me (if any at all) and I simply can't see or even dream past that. Losing the ability to dream can be one of the biggest handicaps for the caregiver.
So I pondered for a minute on why He could not see my darkness - since light and dark are the same to Him. Then I realized that it's not that He cannot see my darkness or my struggle, it's just that the darkness does not obscure His vision. He can see into the darkness of a womb (v.13) to see our every progress; but He can also see into the darkness of the tomb beyond death (literal or not) and see life. The darkness does not hamper His vision - nor does it change His plans. It really doesn't matter to Him if it's dark where we are or not - He does not change, His plans do not change and He can see in spite of the surrounding darkness whether we can or not!
I'm not even sure why but it sure helped me face today to know that He can see into and through my dark circumstances...I believe I'll rest in that today.
And So We Wait.
It seems that the topic in my heart returns frequently to waiting on the Lord. I am not real sure what I am waiting for; if I am waiting for Him to do something, say something or move something...but I wait. That is really where I am today just waiting. I do not really know how to pray sometimes, so I wait. My emotions run dry, nothing I can do to change today; so I wait.
Psalm 25:5 says this:
Psalm 25:5 says this:
Lead me in Your truth and teach me,
For You are the God of my salvation
for You I wait all the day.
There is nothing wrong with just being silent before Him. There are just those times when words do not seem appropriate. Our religious background can make us feel like we must pray, speak, talk, do...all the time. But sometimes the greatest faith is expressed in silently waiting for Him. It is in these times we grow.
Today, let us wait on Him to see what He will do next. His peace is priceless, His grace is endless. I choose today to walk in His grace and peace no matter what is going on in the world around me. His grace is sufficient to carry us through today...let us wait.
It's Still A Waiting Game
This morning my insides are singing. It's a scripture song and I had some friends that had great harmony and boy could they sing it! It was beautiful - and I can remember just like they used to sing it! It's found in Psalm 27:14 and it says:
wait on the lord and be of good courage
and He will strengthen your heart
Sometimes the waiting seems like the hard part. I'm a mom and I want to fix things; get them back up and going. But in caregiving situations it does not always work like that which can cause great anxiety for us fixers! I have to take myself back to this scripture and remind myself that the only way I can find the strength for today is to wait on Him.
Waiting sounds so easy - but in actuality it is so difficult. I want life to return to some sort of what I used to call normal and it just isn't going to happen. Even if there was a miracle and God touched my son today and made him whole... there's still no way life could be like it was. I have changed, relationships have changed and how I handle many things have changed so it would not be the same.
Today as we learn how to wait on Him for the strength to carry on, remember that we are constantly changing. We are learning what life is really about from a whole new perspective in Him. Take some time to wait on His strength to carry you today...
Consider the Source
Psalm 84 has been a long time favorite of mine. My favorites change of course, depending on the need of the day! But there is a verse in this particular psalm that had me puzzled for awhile. The second portion of verse 11 says no good thing does He withhold from those who walk uprightly. Now like you, I have heard this one twisted by the religious world; and I think we do not have a proper definition of good things.
Religious thinking quoted this scripture and used it for monetary gain. I guess they decided that a Mercedes or a Cadillac was a good thing so they deserved for God to give them one. And for many years I tended to agree with this interpretation. But you know how your perspective changes as you go through life's stuff? Mine has done a complete turn around.
Don't get me wrong - I totally believe in God's provision. I have watched Him provide every single need and much more through this journey. And I do know people personally that He has blessed financially. (Abraham's a good scriptural example if you want one) But finances, healing and stuff...are not all of His good things.
When we look at the author of this psalm it might shift our perspective just a bit. This psalm was written by the sons of Korah. Korah was the dude in Numbers 16 who with Abiram and Dotham opposed Moses by taking a rebellious stand. The Lord caused the ground to open up and "swallow" all of them. So when the sons of Korah - his descendants that did not perish with him - said for a day in Your courts is better than a thousand outside. I would rather stand at the threshold of the house of my God than to dwell in the tents of wickedness...they knew exactly what kind of stand they were taking! When you consider the source (the author) it takes on a little fuller meaning.
They knew God's goodness as survival! Today I will consider it His goodness that I have the strength to face this part of the journey. Because I know it is His strength in me that is carrying me along. His goodness and mercy will follow me today! And sometimes...they will have to carry me through.
The fact that He carries me through instead of abandoning me when times get tough...is His goodness displayed. So today - don't get discouraged if you need Him to carry you for awhile. His goodness will sustain you even in the midst of the storm.
Religious thinking quoted this scripture and used it for monetary gain. I guess they decided that a Mercedes or a Cadillac was a good thing so they deserved for God to give them one. And for many years I tended to agree with this interpretation. But you know how your perspective changes as you go through life's stuff? Mine has done a complete turn around.
Don't get me wrong - I totally believe in God's provision. I have watched Him provide every single need and much more through this journey. And I do know people personally that He has blessed financially. (Abraham's a good scriptural example if you want one) But finances, healing and stuff...are not all of His good things.
When we look at the author of this psalm it might shift our perspective just a bit. This psalm was written by the sons of Korah. Korah was the dude in Numbers 16 who with Abiram and Dotham opposed Moses by taking a rebellious stand. The Lord caused the ground to open up and "swallow" all of them. So when the sons of Korah - his descendants that did not perish with him - said for a day in Your courts is better than a thousand outside. I would rather stand at the threshold of the house of my God than to dwell in the tents of wickedness...they knew exactly what kind of stand they were taking! When you consider the source (the author) it takes on a little fuller meaning.
They knew God's goodness as survival! Today I will consider it His goodness that I have the strength to face this part of the journey. Because I know it is His strength in me that is carrying me along. His goodness and mercy will follow me today! And sometimes...they will have to carry me through.
The fact that He carries me through instead of abandoning me when times get tough...is His goodness displayed. So today - don't get discouraged if you need Him to carry you for awhile. His goodness will sustain you even in the midst of the storm.
Content with Weakness
This phrase is taken from 2 Corinthians 12:10. The writer, Apostle Paul, made the statement that he was content with weakness. A few years ago in my life I would not have been able to agree. I have always been a very independent person (which sometimes causes relationship problems) and a I-cab-do-it-myself type. I do not take time to ask for help - I'll figure out how to get it done. The last 3 years of caregiving has changed some (but not all) of that. There are times now where I really do just have to ask for a little bit of help. Think about it - how often does someone call you and say, "Hey, I'd love to come sit for a couple hours so you could get out and see a movie..." (or buy groceries, get a haircut, walk in the park,.. etc...) It just does not happen. So we are in a position to have to request help occasionally.
Paul goes on to say in this passage that he is also content with insults, distresses, persecutions and difficulties. Notice they are all plurals! And they all come from being a believer. Most of our troubles these days are not for being a believer in Christ. They may sometimes come from the religious world when we do not measure down to their standard - but we are not persecuted for believing in Christ as Paul was. Basically, some of our pain (I think I can say "our") is from the church ignoring us. The same church that is supposed to be like Christ; and walk in His compassion. Yeah, those - most of them ignore us as they really do not know what to do with us. And I have to also admit that I fell way short during my serving the church days.
Paul goes on to say why he is content with weakness. In verse 10 he says for when I am weak, then I am strong. On the surface that doesn't really sound possible does it? How can I be strong because I am weak? We can look back up to verse 9 for an answer. Paul says in this verse that God's power is perfected in weakness. Wow! May I always be weak so that His power can be matured in me!
Today I choose to consider His power rather than my weakness. I choose to embrace His grace rather than my fears. And I choose to cling to Him rather than my situation...even realizing nothing will change in a day...but me.
Paul goes on to say in this passage that he is also content with insults, distresses, persecutions and difficulties. Notice they are all plurals! And they all come from being a believer. Most of our troubles these days are not for being a believer in Christ. They may sometimes come from the religious world when we do not measure down to their standard - but we are not persecuted for believing in Christ as Paul was. Basically, some of our pain (I think I can say "our") is from the church ignoring us. The same church that is supposed to be like Christ; and walk in His compassion. Yeah, those - most of them ignore us as they really do not know what to do with us. And I have to also admit that I fell way short during my serving the church days.
Paul goes on to say why he is content with weakness. In verse 10 he says for when I am weak, then I am strong. On the surface that doesn't really sound possible does it? How can I be strong because I am weak? We can look back up to verse 9 for an answer. Paul says in this verse that God's power is perfected in weakness. Wow! May I always be weak so that His power can be matured in me!
Today I choose to consider His power rather than my weakness. I choose to embrace His grace rather than my fears. And I choose to cling to Him rather than my situation...even realizing nothing will change in a day...but me.
Choose Your Attitude
As caregivers we are all in situations that do not match our dreams. Where we are today most likely was not in the plan when we were setting our life goals. Yet, we are here. Now we must deal with each day as it is given to us; and choose to make the best of it.
Today is Thanksgiving Day. And while I could go through the list of things I wish were different, I will choose to concentrate on the things I am thankful for. I have found this practice helps me through many days. It is amazing once I start purposefully finding things to be thankful for, how my whole perspective can change. In a matter of minutes I am no longer being swept down some deep, dark emotional river. Instead I find myself taking a deep breath of air. Sometimes it's simply to remind myself that I am indeed still alive!
But as I choose to turn my heart to one of thankfulness I find that many of my deepest concerns are carried away, perhaps in the river of doubt that wanted to wash me away!
So today I am thankful for many things and I will choose to concentrate on those. In Psalms 10:4 the psalmist said:Enter His gates with thanksgiving and His courts with praise. Give thanks to Him, bless His name. One translation states the first part as: bring a thank offering before Him. Let us as caregivers do this today. Bring your thank offering - yourself before Him today and purposefully choose to find things to be thankful for. As you search for thankfulness to bring to Him as an offering...your whole perspective and attitude will change!
Today is Thanksgiving Day. And while I could go through the list of things I wish were different, I will choose to concentrate on the things I am thankful for. I have found this practice helps me through many days. It is amazing once I start purposefully finding things to be thankful for, how my whole perspective can change. In a matter of minutes I am no longer being swept down some deep, dark emotional river. Instead I find myself taking a deep breath of air. Sometimes it's simply to remind myself that I am indeed still alive!
But as I choose to turn my heart to one of thankfulness I find that many of my deepest concerns are carried away, perhaps in the river of doubt that wanted to wash me away!
So today I am thankful for many things and I will choose to concentrate on those. In Psalms 10:4 the psalmist said:Enter His gates with thanksgiving and His courts with praise. Give thanks to Him, bless His name. One translation states the first part as: bring a thank offering before Him. Let us as caregivers do this today. Bring your thank offering - yourself before Him today and purposefully choose to find things to be thankful for. As you search for thankfulness to bring to Him as an offering...your whole perspective and attitude will change!
Let Us give thanks...
If Anyone Loves Me
I found this to be very interesting this morning. I was reading in John 14 and came to verse 21. Jesus is speaking and says that those who love Him He and the Father will love. And then Jesus says that to those who love Him, He will disclose Himself to them. I have read this scripture many times before. But this morning the next verse really jumped out at me.
Judas (not Iscariot - the good one) asked Jesus in response what has happened that You are going to disclose Yourself to us and not to the world? Did that sound like a "church person's" question to you? We always like to think that we are the special ones, like we have a one-up on everyone else because of some position or something. And yet Jesus appears to just be talking openly about people who love Him and how they will embrace the word and be loved by the Father.
This is evident in the way Jesus answered Judas' egotistical and religious question.He begins with if anyone loves me...no other stipulations were added just simply those who love Him period. For those who love Him three apparent things will occur:
Judas (not Iscariot - the good one) asked Jesus in response what has happened that You are going to disclose Yourself to us and not to the world? Did that sound like a "church person's" question to you? We always like to think that we are the special ones, like we have a one-up on everyone else because of some position or something. And yet Jesus appears to just be talking openly about people who love Him and how they will embrace the word and be loved by the Father.
This is evident in the way Jesus answered Judas' egotistical and religious question.He begins with if anyone loves me...no other stipulations were added just simply those who love Him period. For those who love Him three apparent things will occur:
- he will keep My word
- My Father will love him
- We will come and live in him
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