Take a second and think about all the things you did yesterday... Now think about all the things you have to complete yet today... Does it make you tired just thinking about it? Caregiving can be physically draining; and we can easily just be physically tired. But the trouble is that it is also emotionally draining.Then we are "two" tired. Our body feels like we are dragging ourselves around to complete all the necessary tasks that must be accomplished in a day...and then we have to handle the entire situation emotionally as well. There may be better days where things go smoothly, aides show up and supplies arrive on time...but there are always those times where decisions have to be made for someone else and it can wear us down...and we become two tired- body and soul.
And then the real trouble begins when we get three tired: body, soul and spirit. Not only do we have to take care of a whole other person while trying to maintain our own health and well being we can wonder where God is in all this. (or at least I do...) And if He is here with us - why isn't He doing anything? Does it ever feel that way?
It may be time to exchange strength with Him.We know according to Isaiah that God never gets tired. And we know by our own experiences that we do! Psalm 29 is one of my long time favorite passages because it starts in verse one with us giving God our strength. And it ends in verse eleven with Him giving us His strength. I think it works better after we complete verse one first. We must give Him our strength- as small as it may feel - and as difficult as it may be to find right now - when we gather up or muster up what little we can find and pour it out before Him in praise and thanksgiving - we will get His strength in return.
Now take a minute and find something to be thankful for - no matter how small it may seem. Once you find the first thing to be thankful for another will follow...and another...
It's all about perspective. No, we do not live in an ideal situation. It's tiring, emotional and draining and we can be two tired or we can even be three tired. (body, soul and spirit) Even though we may feel we have no control over our circumstances we can still control our hearts and minds.Today let us take time to turn our thoughts to His greatness (Isaiah 40 is a great place to start; or Genesis 1); and put our effort into purposefully finding things to thank Him for...(breath, food, children, our minds) and as we pour this out before His throne we will find that He will make a great exchange by giving us His strength instead of ours to walk through today.
Sharing Grace
One of the things caregivers can miss the most is just living. That spontaneity of being able to decide on a moment's notice that you want to go to a movie, or run to the mall. The caregiver most times really does not have that option. We can miss the things we used to enjoy, like hiking or shopping; or just going to church. For the most part we finally get used to just staying home - but that doesn't mean our freedom isn't missed.
Somehow for me, when I can find someone in scripture who I at least think understands in some measure it can bring peace. Paul made what I feel is a very interesting statement in Acts 20:22-24. He said that Holy Spirit had told him that he was going to face afflictions and imprisonment in every city. He didn't hang his head and cry about all his losses (like I do!); he said this instead: But I do not account my life of any value nor as precious to myself, if only I may finish my course and the ministry that I received from the Lord Jesus, to testify to the gospel of the grace of God.
Now most of us did not know what was coming - and some have an idea. It can be difficult in the struggle to figure out why He called us to begin with and some who were in ministry before can feel as though they have been stripped and a lot of it does not make sense anymore. But God doesn't change His mind. It may just look a lot different than it did BC (before caregiving).
Paul continued to share the grace of God even though he found himself in prison. What better way to share how His grace is carrying us through - than right here from the midst of the fiery storm? It can be so easy to get underneath the heavy load and lose our focus. But what if we saw every phone call, every person who comes to help, or to visit as an opportunity to share His grace? Today that will be my focus, I will look at every encounter as an opportunity...will you?
Somehow for me, when I can find someone in scripture who I at least think understands in some measure it can bring peace. Paul made what I feel is a very interesting statement in Acts 20:22-24. He said that Holy Spirit had told him that he was going to face afflictions and imprisonment in every city. He didn't hang his head and cry about all his losses (like I do!); he said this instead: But I do not account my life of any value nor as precious to myself, if only I may finish my course and the ministry that I received from the Lord Jesus, to testify to the gospel of the grace of God.
Now most of us did not know what was coming - and some have an idea. It can be difficult in the struggle to figure out why He called us to begin with and some who were in ministry before can feel as though they have been stripped and a lot of it does not make sense anymore. But God doesn't change His mind. It may just look a lot different than it did BC (before caregiving).
Paul continued to share the grace of God even though he found himself in prison. What better way to share how His grace is carrying us through - than right here from the midst of the fiery storm? It can be so easy to get underneath the heavy load and lose our focus. But what if we saw every phone call, every person who comes to help, or to visit as an opportunity to share His grace? Today that will be my focus, I will look at every encounter as an opportunity...will you?
A Deep Breath for My Soul
Did you ever turn around in the middle of the afternoon and wonder where the day has gone so fast? When everything works like it should, a day can be hectic. Supplies come in, meals get delivered, aides actually show up; the front door just keeps swinging some days. It's a good thing, but it can sure be like a whirlwind sometimes, especially if you factor in all the other daily caregiving that is not optional. If we are not careful a day can get away from us and we are left scratching our heads wondering which way it went.
Yesterday was like that around here and so when I found Psalm 131:2 this morning during my morning devotions it brought a quiet in my soul that was much needed. The psalmist said, But I have stilled and quieted myself just as a small child is quiet with his mother... And then he goes on in the last verse to say his hope is in the Lord.
What stood out to me here was that the psalmist said he quieted himself...he quieted his own soul before the Lord by reminding himself that his hope was in Him. For today I will keep my soul at ease by meditating on the Lord who is my hope, my help and my strength. Funny, when I stop to think about that for just a minute it's like a deep breath for the soul...
Yesterday was like that around here and so when I found Psalm 131:2 this morning during my morning devotions it brought a quiet in my soul that was much needed. The psalmist said, But I have stilled and quieted myself just as a small child is quiet with his mother... And then he goes on in the last verse to say his hope is in the Lord.
What stood out to me here was that the psalmist said he quieted himself...he quieted his own soul before the Lord by reminding himself that his hope was in Him. For today I will keep my soul at ease by meditating on the Lord who is my hope, my help and my strength. Funny, when I stop to think about that for just a minute it's like a deep breath for the soul...
Sometimes I Feel Two-Faced!
As a caregiver life can be ambiguous in that we are certain that we are uncertain. But this week in my studies I found that we are in very good company.I frequently read Psalm 119 as I find it very encouraging and it always points my heart back to His word. This week a couple of verses in particular caught my attention.
In verses 27 and 28 (NLT) the psalmist has that sort of ambiguous tone. The end of verse 27 states I will meditate on your wonderful miracles; but the very next verse starts with I weep with grief...And of course true to David's nature he has these two phrases sandwiched between thoughts about the Word.
I found that sometimes this oddity describes the way we can feel. On the one hand, we are so thankful for all that God has done.We have done several devotions about being thankful in the midst of our furnace where we take time to purposefully find things (some days are more difficult than others) to thank Him for. Thankful for small progresses or that the aide actually showed up; perhaps long awaited supplies finally arrived, or just thankful that He gave us breath and strength to face another day.
And then in the next moment we may be weeping with grief over the situation or out of compassion for our suffering loved one. When I find passages like this one, it helps me feel at least like I am somewhat normal. It's okay to thank Him with one breath and wonder what's going on with the next - it's the nature of the situation.But our final answer lies a couple of verses further down.
Verse 30 says: I have chosen to be faithful; I have determined to live by Your laws.Today let us determine to walk in His word no matter what our circumstances look like. Even in those ambiguous moments where we feel joy and grief at the same time - let us turn to His word for our comfort. Let us recall that He is walking through this furnace with us so we will not lose heart.
In verses 27 and 28 (NLT) the psalmist has that sort of ambiguous tone. The end of verse 27 states I will meditate on your wonderful miracles; but the very next verse starts with I weep with grief...And of course true to David's nature he has these two phrases sandwiched between thoughts about the Word.
I found that sometimes this oddity describes the way we can feel. On the one hand, we are so thankful for all that God has done.We have done several devotions about being thankful in the midst of our furnace where we take time to purposefully find things (some days are more difficult than others) to thank Him for. Thankful for small progresses or that the aide actually showed up; perhaps long awaited supplies finally arrived, or just thankful that He gave us breath and strength to face another day.
And then in the next moment we may be weeping with grief over the situation or out of compassion for our suffering loved one. When I find passages like this one, it helps me feel at least like I am somewhat normal. It's okay to thank Him with one breath and wonder what's going on with the next - it's the nature of the situation.But our final answer lies a couple of verses further down.
Verse 30 says: I have chosen to be faithful; I have determined to live by Your laws.Today let us determine to walk in His word no matter what our circumstances look like. Even in those ambiguous moments where we feel joy and grief at the same time - let us turn to His word for our comfort. Let us recall that He is walking through this furnace with us so we will not lose heart.
An Old Familiar Psalm
It is very important for caregivers to try to find the positive things to rejoice in each day. We can rejoice in any small improvement in our loved one we are caring for, be glad the aide actually showed up to help, rejoice that at least the few necessities that are provided and covered by insurance showed up, or be thankful for a call or visit from a friend. Although the battle can be difficult, small things can help lighten our load on many days.
There are those days where we just struggle - with everything. And some days we just get through. After a series of days, weeks, months of just trying to get through yesterday one of my favorite worship leaders posted a new song he had written. It is called, "When I Worship You." It was the song of the day for sure. I played it over and over. It's on the front page of his website if you want to check it out: www.dennisjernigan.com
The phrase that stuck out to me yesterday was about Him being with me. Somehow that simple thought not only stuck with me, but really helped carry me through the day. It reminded me of a very familiar psalm. Psalm 23 contains a verse that says, Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I will fear no evil for thou art with me. (That's old KJV there!) He is the constant in my fluctuating day-to-day life. No matter how dark, or how light the valley grows - He is with me. I may be crying one minute and laughing the next, good news with one phone call and bad with the next - but He is with me.
Today just meditate on the fact that He has not left us in the storm. He is the only constant in our lives and He chooses to stay with us. A phrase in one of my favorite choruses says:
There are those days where we just struggle - with everything. And some days we just get through. After a series of days, weeks, months of just trying to get through yesterday one of my favorite worship leaders posted a new song he had written. It is called, "When I Worship You." It was the song of the day for sure. I played it over and over. It's on the front page of his website if you want to check it out: www.dennisjernigan.com
The phrase that stuck out to me yesterday was about Him being with me. Somehow that simple thought not only stuck with me, but really helped carry me through the day. It reminded me of a very familiar psalm. Psalm 23 contains a verse that says, Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I will fear no evil for thou art with me. (That's old KJV there!) He is the constant in my fluctuating day-to-day life. No matter how dark, or how light the valley grows - He is with me. I may be crying one minute and laughing the next, good news with one phone call and bad with the next - but He is with me.
Today just meditate on the fact that He has not left us in the storm. He is the only constant in our lives and He chooses to stay with us. A phrase in one of my favorite choruses says:
I can't comprehend His vast presence
as heaven and earth He does fill
Yet His choice of habitation
is in a heart that is still...
Today, let us remember that He will not leave us unarmed, or alone. He is walking through this furnace with us...and if you get a chance go watch that video by DJ. It's the worship song of the day!
Who's Tired?
It can be the same day-in and day-out for caregivers. There are generally a lot of comments on Facebook on Friday's about being glad it's the "weekend," and on Monday's you see all the posts about how horrid Monday's are. But for the caregiver it really means nothing most of the time as most days are the same; over and over and over again! Do you ever just get tired? (Of course I ask this knowing that we do!) For me it is comforting to know that He never gets tired.
Right now in my very small circle of friends I know people who are in pain, a family who lost 2 family members in a day - one was their son, a bicyclist who was run over by a car this weekend, a person with a brain tumor, people with cancer, and that's just the beginning. The sad part is there are not many "church" people reaching out to these in pain. Why? As a general rule they are good at lending a hand in an emergency - but there is no endurance for the long hauls that many people find themselves in. I am so glad that God does not get tired!
Isaiah 40:27-28 says this in the New Living Translation: O Israel, how can you say the Lord does not see your troubles? How can you say God refuses to hear your case? Have you never heard or understood? don't you know that the Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of all the earth? He never grows faint or weary. No one can measure the depths of His understanding. As I read this today while bearing all my friends and acquaintances before Him, I saw this in a totally different way.
I had always thought of the term "everlasting" to mean the Forever God; and of course it is. But for me today it meant something special...that He has the grits and the guts to keep going with us through our trials. He can out last it - He has what it takes. And the other part was about the depths of His understanding. I know it means in essence that we can't measure how deep His understanding is in light of creation...but I believe it is correct in context to state the He understands us far more than we give Him credit for. He is not some distant God standing afar off wondering what we are going to do with life. He is near. He is not tired and He really does understand us.
Today let these thoughts comfort you. Allow Him to understand your situation. He probably understands it better than you do! Allow Him to be your strength today. He is alive! He is near! He is energetic and full of understanding...and He won't give out on the journey!
Right now in my very small circle of friends I know people who are in pain, a family who lost 2 family members in a day - one was their son, a bicyclist who was run over by a car this weekend, a person with a brain tumor, people with cancer, and that's just the beginning. The sad part is there are not many "church" people reaching out to these in pain. Why? As a general rule they are good at lending a hand in an emergency - but there is no endurance for the long hauls that many people find themselves in. I am so glad that God does not get tired!
Isaiah 40:27-28 says this in the New Living Translation: O Israel, how can you say the Lord does not see your troubles? How can you say God refuses to hear your case? Have you never heard or understood? don't you know that the Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of all the earth? He never grows faint or weary. No one can measure the depths of His understanding. As I read this today while bearing all my friends and acquaintances before Him, I saw this in a totally different way.
I had always thought of the term "everlasting" to mean the Forever God; and of course it is. But for me today it meant something special...that He has the grits and the guts to keep going with us through our trials. He can out last it - He has what it takes. And the other part was about the depths of His understanding. I know it means in essence that we can't measure how deep His understanding is in light of creation...but I believe it is correct in context to state the He understands us far more than we give Him credit for. He is not some distant God standing afar off wondering what we are going to do with life. He is near. He is not tired and He really does understand us.
Today let these thoughts comfort you. Allow Him to understand your situation. He probably understands it better than you do! Allow Him to be your strength today. He is alive! He is near! He is energetic and full of understanding...and He won't give out on the journey!
Help! I've Fallen and I Can't Get Up!
Do you ever feel that way? Sometimes our days can be so very busy with all the tasks that must be done to take care of our loved ones that the weight of those responsibilities and our emotions can make us feel that way. We cannot wait until the emotions drag us down to the depths of despair because it is a very difficult climb out. I am finding that as soon as I feel overwhelmed I must take action so that depression does not get a hold on my emotions. Once they take you under - it's a long climb out!
The second emotions start firing at you and trying to drag you under is when you have to stop it. That sounds really easy - but in reality it's a whole struggle in itself. But we can do this. This morning I encouraged myself with Psalm 121. The psalmist is looking for his source of help. Where does my help come from? There are days that it seems there is no help for us. But we, like the psalmist, must lift our eyes to answer our own question -My help comes from the Lord! He is our source of strength. You know as well as I do it's a waste of time to sit around and wait for someone to encourage us! lol...We really must learn how to encourage ourselves in the Lord. Many times that is easier said than done.
Take a few moments (when you can find them!) and read through Psalm 121 today. Meditate on the truth that He is our strength. He is our help and the keeper of our soul. It helps me relax when I can remember that He is the one who can keep me whole - emotionally and mentally - as I learn to lean on Him.
The second emotions start firing at you and trying to drag you under is when you have to stop it. That sounds really easy - but in reality it's a whole struggle in itself. But we can do this. This morning I encouraged myself with Psalm 121. The psalmist is looking for his source of help. Where does my help come from? There are days that it seems there is no help for us. But we, like the psalmist, must lift our eyes to answer our own question -My help comes from the Lord! He is our source of strength. You know as well as I do it's a waste of time to sit around and wait for someone to encourage us! lol...We really must learn how to encourage ourselves in the Lord. Many times that is easier said than done.
Take a few moments (when you can find them!) and read through Psalm 121 today. Meditate on the truth that He is our strength. He is our help and the keeper of our soul. It helps me relax when I can remember that He is the one who can keep me whole - emotionally and mentally - as I learn to lean on Him.
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