Contentment vs Peace

In Philippians, Paul said that he had learned to be content in whatever state he found himself in - whether that was in a state of abundance, or a state of lacking. Faithers tend to ignore this verse unless they are misquoting it to make a point. How does it interpret into our daily lives, especially for the caregiver? Are we supposed to be content with the fact that our loved one is hurting? Or should we be content that they can no longer care for themselves? What does it mean to be content?

First of all, Paul wasn't giving a command to be content. It was not meant as "instruction." He was making a statement about his own life and how he had found that he was content - or at peace with himself and God no matter what life threw his way. It seems in this part of this short book he is expressing gratitude to the Philippian church for once again having compassion on his needs and offering help. He said it nicely but in verse 10 he basically ( in my loose interpretation) says - you ignored me for awhile but found a way to help me once again. How easy it can be for the caregiver to feel ignored.

We do not fit into society's perfect mold and therefore the world around us goes on as we sit watching. Paul is like - you cared for me for awhile, didn't help me at all, and now you are once again offering help. He is grateful - not bitter. How easy it can be to become bitter at life if we are not careful. Contentment is not the enemy. We have to find a peace in God in order to deal with the dealings of daily life. We don't look or live like the rest of the world and they do not know what to do with us...we must find our contentment and our peace  in Him regardless of whether there is anyone around to help us or not.

I think this is what Paul is saying. He states that he had learned to just be content with what he had each day whether that was much or little. He said  I have found the secret of living in each situation... That's what can be such a struggle for the caregiver - learning to live in the situation.

This is my meditation for today - that I will live in Him - and in the situation I will find life no matter what struggles or difficulties may present themselves today. I'll live in Him today! Will you join me?

Can You Hear Me Now?

Have you ever just reached the point of desperation? As a caregiver it seems I live on the edge of desperation a lot! lol. These are times when my life and my faith seem to conflict the most. I can pray and pray until I run out of words and it seems like God just isn't listening. My Bible thumping background haunts me because I know scriptures like 1 John 5:15 - And this is the boldness which we have toward him, that, if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us: and if we know that he hears us whatsoever we ask, we know that we have the petitions which we have asked of him.

When I was taught that scripture it was by what I call the faith-ers. It was in the context of believing that God hears us and jumps at our command. Over the years I have found that concept to be in error. My next thought today is this So is healing not in His will today? I don't suppose I will ever really know why He chooses to do as He does; He is God of course and can see the whole picture while I can see only part - and not very clearly. 

My trouble is that if I am totally honest with myself - I don't know that He hears me. I trust that He hears me when my heart cries out - but how do I know that He hears my heart's cry? don't suppose there is any way to know...

But I can turn to another scripture for some help. Psalm 61:1-2 says this O God listen to my cry! Hear my prayer! From the ends of the earth I will cry to You for help, for my heart is overwhelmed. Lead me to the towering rock of safety, for you are my refuge, a fortress where my enemies cannot reach me. (NLT) I have sung this scripture for years but today it really rings from my heart as I ask God to hear my prayers; hear my cries. I know He has been my shelter for all these years and I have no plans of running to anyone or anything else! He is my rock - my strength - my song. Today my heart cries to Him to hear me and rescue my heart from the enemy's snare.

My meditation today will be a cry to Him for help. I will remind myself of His faithfulness and strength. And I will trust Him to carry me today.

Can he say that?

This morning I picked up My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers. He used a verse out of Joshua that I thought was very interesting. In chapter 24 verse 19 Joshua makes a statement that I guess I have totally overlooked all these years: You cannot serve the Lord. I  looked it up myself because I didn't think anyone could make such a bold statement. How could an individual, leader or not, tell someone that they were not able to serve God?

We are all too familiar with verse 15 where Joshua boldly proclaims that his house is going to serve God. But then he turns around and tells the people that they can't? Can he do that?

The people got serious about God when Joshua told them that God wasn't going to forgive them of their adulterous and idolatrous ways. (v.19) And in verse 21 they are adamant: we are determined to serve the Lord! At this point, Joshua tells them they are accountable for this decision and they must destroy all their idols and turn their hearts back to God.

We do not always recognize our idols because they are not made out of precious medals; but we have them. Maybe it's healing - we seek it more than we seek Him. Or for some perhaps it's prosperity - and we give our money to the white-washed preacher who says we'll be blessed for giving. Sadly, for many Western Christians - it's the church. Everything we know about God fits inside those four walls. And for those of us who do not fit the pattern -- they just shake their heads.  

What idol do you need to get rid of today? What takes your focus off of Him? Is it the fiery situation?  Service to the church? the basic pains of life?

Joshua 24:25 - So Joshua made a covenant with the people that day at Shechem committing them to a permanent and binding contract between themselves and the Lord. Who is your "contract" with? Is it with a church? a friend? a mentor or a minister? Break it.

Today I will refocus on Him. I will diligently search my heart and my life to see if anything has stolen my focus. Then I will give it back to Him. As for me and my house we will serve the Lord.

Who Sees Me?

I've been thinking about Hagar all day today; there's something stuck in my mind about the situation she found herself in. Genesis 16 tells us about how Sarah gave Hagar, her maid to Abram to bring forth a child. But when Hagar found out that she was indeed with child, she treated Sarah with "contempt" and found herself looking for a place to live! There are many details to this story - just like each one of us has our own unique details about how we ended up in the wilderness of life trying to survive. For Hagar, she made some obvious mistakes - for many of us who live in the furnace it was not mistakes that ended us up in the furnace. The furnace is hot no matter how we ended up there!

Verse 11 may be the verse that sticks out to some of us as it says: for the Lord has heard about your misery. I suppose that it can be a good thing for the Lord to be aware of what is going on in our lives. But what stood out to me today is in verse 14: the God who sees me.There just seems to be something a little more personal about Him seeing me than just hearing about  me. It means He is attentive and watching; it's more active and not so much passive. He sees me.

No matter how hot the furnace, how difficult the struggle gets, or how long or dark the night...He sees me. For some reason today I just feel like I need God to see me; to walk with me and hold me. It is comforting to know that He does not look away just because the picture gets ugly.

It is interesting to me that Hagar called the place, "well of the living One who sees me;" and God called the name of her child Ishmael which means, "God hears." Today I will meditate on the truth that God is first the living God; and secondly on the truth that He does indeed see and hear my heart. As furnace walkers, let us take comfort in these truths today. 

Quietly Discarded

There are times that I joke about living in a cave; and even though things are said in jest it really can seem that way at times. Many times the caregiver lives a very isolated life where activities outside the home are very limited. For awhile this used to wear on me but it has finally settled in and my cave is a very safe place, a peaceful place and I am actually finding that I do not do as well outside the cave as I used to.

Others really do not understand the caregiver's cave. There's just no way for others to understand the lack of freedom that can be experienced. You cannot just jump up and go grab a few things from the store, have coffee with a friend or go to an afternoon matinee. The things that are commonplace for the majority are rare for the caregiver, if they exist at all. We cannot expect others to understand our situations - they are not living the experience with us. We do not fit society's mold and sometimes we can feel quietly discarded.

No one will actually say anything - not that it would help. Have you ever just felt politely ignored? When people do not know what to do with you they are not impolite - they just ignore! Even the church can be this way. They do not know what to do with those of us who are homebound and cannot fit their church-going mold. So we do not exist to them. I won't bore you with the details of all the churches or church people who have politely ignored us. lol. But I will tell you that one pastor asked me what I needed and I replied with one word: fellowship. He eagerly said they could do that. (I think he was relieved that I didn't ask for money lol!) But most of those who live in situations with continual pain whether it's physical or emotional have probably already guessed what happened. I never saw him or any people from that church again. I'm not mad - they just don't know what to do with us so they politely ignore us. We become quietly discarded because we can't function in their world. No blame -- just the way it is.


The term that came to my mind earlier this week was cast away. There are times when the caregiver can feel like society or even life in general has just cast us away. We are here - we are breathing - but we don't really exist. When I started meditating about being cast away and realizing that our existence is not in this world but in Him, my mind went straight to 2 Corinthians 4. The apostle to the early church Paul says this we are afflicted in every way...but not crushed. Now for those faithers out there -- they would call this admission a negative or faithless confession. It is not. Paul is stating the obvious. Until we can view where we are in honesty - we'll never be able to view Him in truth. Paul did not stop at this he went on to describe the utter despair he was feeling:  perplexed but not despairing; persecuted but not forsaken; struck down but not destroyed. That about sums it up.

I would like to add quietly discarded - but not rejected. Even though much of the world ignores our situation - God is still fully aware. He has not rejected us - He has not left us. Life may have struck us down but we are not destroyed!! Even though it feels like life has cast us away - to live in the caregiver's cave - God caught us and holds us even now.

Today I will meditate on how He is my present help - He holds me - cherishes me and loves me. I will picture Him holding me...and then I'll rest in Him. Will you join me?

Step Out of the Traffic!

This has been a very busy week around here: supplies that do not come in, nurses that drop in unexpectedly, aides that don't show up (they're fired)  - and it's only Tuesday! For the caregiver it simply never stops! Life can be a tilt-a-whirl that never takes a break, just keeps spinning and spinning with no relief in sight. *sigh* Sometimes it seems we cannot even slow down enough to take a breath. It only takes a few minutes for everything to snowball on top of you when you are already underneath the load and emotions are already on "high."

Maybe it's just me, but in those times it can be very difficult to figure out what is the "right" thing to pray. After a few years of caregiving (or suffering otherwise) we've pretty well prayed it all out. That can add frustration too. So yesterday when it all caved in on me again I did what I taught others to do for years. I went right to Psalm 46:10. It's good in any version: KJV says Be still and know I am God. The NASB says: Cease striving and know that I am God. the CEV says it this way: Calm down and learn that I am God." The Message says it like this: Step out of the traffic! Take a long loving look at me, your High God. I guess that about sums it up...when life is overbearing, pain unmanageable, people not present - just be still, cease striving, calm down and step out of the traffic! 

When you live in the furnace like caregivers do life can become overbearing at any second. Sometimes we do good to even know we are saved! But when it is too much - it's time to quiet our soul in the presence of the One who created it... and say with or without breath -- I still believe You are God. Somehow this acknowledgement that doesn't really change anything....changes everything.

 Take a moment today to remember that He is still God. Remind yourself that whatever ongoing tragedy is occurring in our lives has not dethroned God. As we quiet ourselves simply in honor of His existence...the world becomes a much quieter place around us. He will give us strength to walk another day. 

Today I will remind myself that He is still God - has always been God - and will continue to be God. Be quiet my soul....He is still God!

Ever Been Disappointed?

Life can be disappointing at times and the caregiver can find themselves having to constantly pull themselves up by their bootstraps as the old saying goes. Most likely the very reason we had the opportunity to become a caregiver was one of life's huge disappointments. Perhaps it was a tragedy such as a wreck or an accident, or maybe it was a serious diagnosis; no matter what it was it certainly was not the way we had envisioned our lives turning out - and that can be very disappointing.

1 Peter 2:6 is a quote from the Old Testament that says this: Behold I lay in Zion a choice stone, a precious corner stone, and he who believes in Him will not be disappointed. (NASB) When life is full of disappointing news we can start to think that God didn't know what He was talking about. To be completely honest, I was very disappointed in God when my son was seriously injured in an automobile accident. After all weren't we led to believe that since we served God our kids would be safe? Well, I was. When the grave news started settling in and I realized that God was not coming in riding on a white horse to rescue me out of the situation - I was disappointed in what I had believed.

When we look at this scripture in context, we will see that it is talking about the body of Christ - and offering ourselves as an offering to God. (1Peter 2:5) It's not so much talking about life being free from disappointments. I think it's saying to me today that no matter what disappointments may come my way in life - we will not stand before God disappointed. As we continue to trust Him for our daily existence (necessary for the caregiver's survival!), we will not stand before Him and be disappointed. He will not be disappointed in us -  and we will not be disappointed in whom we put all our trust and belief.

We can become very focused on what we see right now that we forget there really is a bigger picture. He will  keep our souls - we must keep our bodies. They are subject to decay (thanks Adam and Eve!), they will wear out, get injured, become weak etc. But our spirit man will not have to stand before God with an ounce of disappointment - He is able to sustain us and present us holy and blameless before Himself - no matter what life brings our way.

Today I will meditate on how He sustains and strengthens me through life's disappointments. Will you join me?